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Dean is broken. But noone at school knows why. So people make up their own stories. That is until Castiel decides to find out. Can he help Dean get through this? Or will their past make things worse?
The morning is freezing. I pull my jacket tighter around me as I slowly rise from the chair I had slumped down in earlier. The bright white walls slowly beginning to be less and less startling to open my heavy eyes to. Charlie, a young nurse who always wore her red hair in a messy ponytail, never able to get it all under control, walks past the doorway.
"Charlie" She takes a step back at the mention of her name and looks into the room.
"D-dean, did you stay the night again?" her eyebrow arching at the end of her sentence, causing my eyes to drift to the ground. I nod slowly. She comes in and sits in the seat next to me. "It's 8:15, do you want come see her before you head to school?" her sweet smile forming on her lips.
"Yeah.. I want to stay though.. Like why can't I just stay here with her? She needs me.. fuck she needs anyone.. I mean I'm probably going to make things worse. I'm already working two jobs an doing school, and then I need to spend time with her. But.. I'm so tired Charlie.. and I don't want her to open her eyes to a failure like me.. " I can feel tears stinging at my red rimmed eyes.
"She is the closest to be stable that she has been yet. You need to go to school and not fall behind anymore." She stands up, smoothing out her scrubs. "Dean you need to keep getting on with your life, we will take care of her, you need to take care of you and not throw away your entire life for her.." She trailed off, we have this conversation nearly every time that it's time for me to leave. "Anyway Dean, you won't be able to see her for a few hours after 9 because she has a few tests we need to do." I let out a sigh.
"Fine.. but I'm coming back to check on her at lunch and then before work." She nods in agreement, knowing that I wouldn't go to school if I wasn't allowed to visit during the day.
I don't need help walking the twisting and busy corroders from the family room to the room that she lay in. I've walked these hallways so many times I could do it withmy eyes closed, actually I think I have before. I walk up to her. She is laying there so openly. The tubes looking so unnatural against her soft face. I look over to Charlie who handed me a pair of gloves. I put them on, all this a routine I am growing very familiar with. I stick my now gloved hand in the hole and put my finger lightly against hers for her to grab, her tiny fingers curling around it weakly at first and then her grip tightening, her whole body tensing and untensing. Her skin tight over her fragile body. It's gaining more and more colour everyday. She looks so red against the white underneath her. She hasn't opened her eyes yet, the doctors that they should begin to open soon. A small whimper escapes her thin but swollen lips as the tube transferring air to her lungs tugs against the tape holding it in place. Its hard seeing her on the verge of life and death like this. But I can't give up on her. I just can't...
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"Shhhh..Shhhh.. It's okay sweetie, Dean's here. I'm here. I got you.. It's gonna be okay, okay? We are gonna be okay, you and me.." I'm not too sure who I'm trying to calm with the last bit, her or me. I close my eyes and see Sammy. Here I am, letting this princess hold onto me, her king not here. I open my eyes and stare down at her. She has his nose, the nose I always used to tap when he was being nerdy. The nose I miss seeing scrunch up as I make some stupid joke. The way it would tint red when we spent the night watching the stars in the winter. A single tear falls from my face and onto the incubator. Sammy should be here pulling her through this, not me. He would have been an amazing father.. Fuck, him and Jess would have been the perfect parents, even if they were only 17. My eyelids heavy when Charlie wakes me up, I had drifted off leaning on the incubator. I'm rushed off as they take the little princess for more tests, I hop in my car, it was Dad's '67 Impala. He gave it to me when it broke down and after many nights spent on trying to fix her I finally got her working again. I start the drive to school.
