Hope (Enoch O'Connor x Reader)

Chapter 7: Stop looking, you pervert!

I carried the pig down to the kitchen, where Emma skins the pig while Jake stands there, shuddering. I don't think he's ever seen his food get prepared this intimately before.

"Y/N, can you take out a tray to cook the little piggy?" Emma asks me. It seems so wrong to me that she can skin a pig without flinching or looking like she's about to throw up, like Jake does I must add, and yet call it a 'little piggy'. It seems so young, juvenile, innocent, for her to say that. But it's hard to hear after watching her skillfully remove the 'little piggy's' skin to be cooked.

I'm slightly disturbed by that. Not that the pig got its skin cut off, I mean, I was just with Enoch watching its heart get ripped out for fuck's sake. I have seen much worse things than those two events combined. But the fact that has left me wondering, what the bloody hell on this Earth has Emma seen to make her so... Heartless? Is that the right word? The Emma I remember was a floating little butterfly. Soaring, flying, wouldn't hurt a single cell on a living creature's body. She was against death of any kind. But now...

I guess the loops have changed us all in different ways. Very different ways, clearly. Emma grew thick skin. Thicker than the boar hide she just removed. How people change. She's still my best friend, I still care about her, but she's a little different to the Emma I remember. I'm not exactly sure that it's a good thing. Oh well. We all have to go to drastic measures to survive.

We coat the pig in oil and salt and put it in the oven. Then we head down into the parlor. I'm interested in this Jake; I want to know more about him. I ask him lots of questions. Where he's from, what he's doing here, why exactly he is visiting? Coz last I checked, people don't just visit loops. They stay here and try to live without being murdered by hollows and wights. I ask him what his peculiarity is. This is where everything turns to shit. Real fast.

"I can see the monsters." He says, a little unnerved.

"The 'monsters'?"

"Hollows."

The word feels like a knife against my soul, my heart, my very existence. I could have saved them. I could have saved them all.  All I needed was to have met Jake before they raided our loop. I could have shape shifted into him, used his peculiarity, seen the hollows, made sure everyone else in my loop had lived. Jake, why hadn't I met you before? Of all the peculiars I have ever met...

"Just like his grandfather." Emma adds, proudly. "He'll protect us like Abe did."

"Abe?" I ask, nauseated.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't tell you about him. He was Jake's grandfather who used to live here. He could see the monsters too."

Oh great. There were two people on Earth that I could have met to save my loop. Why, oh bloody why, did I never meet, or even ever hear, of people whose peculiarity was to see those god-damned beasts? I could have saved them, all of them, the children in my loop, just by wearing Jake's face, by using his peculiarity...

But, I didn't know them. I couldn't wear Jake's face. Or Abe's face. I couldn't save them...

"Excuse me for a minute..." I dart out of the room and run, not sure where I'm running, just knowing that I'm running. I run and run and run and run, the memory so clearly implanted in my brain. Destruction looms around me. The loop. The children. The invisible beasts that could now be seen apparently. All by me wearing Jake's face, using his peculiarity. Run. I scream in my memory. Run, and don't look back! I'll lead them away. Just run. I can see all the children running. But what about you?!   One screams back at me, her face really blurry, tears invading my vision. I'll be okay! Just run. I'll be okay.  But they won't be okay, they aren't okay, but they could've been okay. Why aren't they okay? Because they're gone, they're not okay because they are gone. Dead. Eaten. By hollows. Which could be prevented. Which could be seen. But weren't. All because I had never met Jake, wasn't able to use his peculiarity, his face...

I crash into something, snapping me out of my memory. My legs stop running, my mind stops tumbling and the memory stops. This is real. I think. Not a dream, not a memory, not a nightmare. Real, solid and warm.

"Are you okay?" A far away voice says. Am I okay? I don't know. I don't know anymore.

"Are you okay? Y/N?" The voice says again. It sounds closer. I look up into melted chocolate brown eyes and I hear voices in my head.

are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay

Thousands of small but building voices scream at me. But my own, strong voice cuts through them.

"I'm okay... I'm... I'm fine." I say as I break free of the supportive hold Enoch had on my arms. Probably to prevent me from falling on my ass as I crashed into him.

"I'm sorry. Um... I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"You're concerned about me? I think you should be more concerned about yourself."

Probably. Probably not. Either way I nod, turn around and go to my room. I need to hide for a while, hide from my small 'outbreak'.

+ + +

Emma came and found me. I told her everything. I think it was time to come clean with her. She was already suspicious. She would have worked it out eventually. So I told her why I couldn't sleep. Why I ran out of the room on her and Jake. The only thing I emitted was crashing into Enoch. I said I just came to my senses after running around pointlessly for a bit. She told me not to 'bottle my feelings up'. She told me to tell her if I needed to 'talk'. Yeah, right. Like I was going to 'talk'. I don't do all that sentimental, psychological crap. No offence, but good luck with that ever happening Emma.

At dinner, everyone was talking about all the stuff they did. Which is the same to every other day, so I really can't see why this would be interesting after however many years. I just sit and eat. I get a few weird glances from a few people. I don't look at their faces for very long, but I know they are looking at me. Like Olive. And Emma. And Jake. And Enoch. And Milliard, I think, but how would I know, he's invisible. I think he may be looking at me. His cap is faced in my direction so I have all the reason to think he's looking too.

"Stop looking at Y/N, you pervert!" Milliard suddenly shouts.

"Milliard, polite persons do not say accusations at the dinner table." Miss Peregrine advises in a warning sort of a way.

"Well, Enoch has been staring weirdly at Y/N all this time. It's weird." He shoots back at Miss Peregrine.

"Mr Nullings, if you are to be rude at this table, it is best you leave." Miss Peregrine says, a little more than annoyed.

"But Miss Peregr—"

"Milliard, out! I don't want to hear a peep out of you until morning!"

Milliard gets up and leaves, without another word, but with enough sentences in the dirty looks he gives Enoch to write an entire novel.

As he leaves, I notice Olive's weird look at me from across the table. What I had assumed was just a strange stare, is actually a glare, I think. I just hadn't looked at her long enough to notice her face's actual expression. It unnerves me. I don't know what to think except: What the bloody hell is that stupid look, Olive?!

____________________________________________________________

Da da daaa! There's another chapter. Hope you liked it. I'm thinking about doing another Enoch POV next chapter, so we'll see if that happens! At the moment, I'm a bit sick (AKA I caught the plague and it feels like I'm DYING!!) So send me flowers, chocolates, painkillers, cards, cake, drugs, anything sugary and comments. Please comment down there and give me some good advice, feedback, drugs, flowers, chocolates, comments, ANYTHING! It may heal my sickness. Probably not, but it will make me feel better. Maybe. Probably. Probably not. Whatever, let's give it a try! Adios peoples!

~Tamika