Help...I can't anymore...
...I'm so ...scared...
My...friend today..
In gym...
Told me what happened to her today...
...and then she told me she's done with everything...
...that she's gonna end her life..
... I got so scared ...because...
I...can't lose anymore...people
* tears up and cries hard * ...
So, she made me go in the bathroom...with her..( yeah even though I'm trans they still make me go in th girls... * cries more * ) ...
So she talked to me about how she has lost the seven people she cares about ( I'm one of the 7 )...and other stuff...and I'm just listening to her and thinking you haven't lost me and you never will..then she kept saying to me well do you have anything to say back..I didn't know what to say because I was so scared...I'm tired of losing the people I fucking care about so much... so I said about how there's no way I can change her mind.. and we left the bathroom...and she was like why wouldn't you say anything...you must not care about me then...I said yeah I do and she walked away...I went back to continue playing basketball ( stations today ) and I couldn't even shoot anymore because I started to cry so hard ( and I'm really good at basketball..I'm always being told I should join the team .. * sighs * )... and I usually don't let anyone see me cry because when they do they know something is wrong with me...but I just couldn't hold it in anymore...I just fell apart and couldn't control my emotions anymore by hiding them... Anna my friend asked me what was wrong, but I wouldn't tell her...she asked me if I needed a hug... and my thought that came to my mind is that a hug can't fix this...then we had to put the equipment up and go sit down...and I sat by her and Anna asked her why I was crying and so did Maggie, but she just lied and said I don't know. I kept crying...I just couldn't quit..and neither could she...then..a few minutes later I felt her grab a hold of my hand and held it..I grabbed hers back. She told me she was sorry and she hugged me and rubbed my side.. then she told me all the people ( her friends ) that left her this year ( the 7 ) and I told her again that I didn't leave her because if I did I wouldn't be right there with her..and she talked about how her dad is leaving to go some where in one of those helicopters and she's afraid that he isn't gonna make it back safely and I told her that...I don't even know my real father... and now we left the gym to go to the bus area and Malacki tried to get me to tell him what's wrong with us ...but I wouldn't... then I got on my bus to go home...and I'm writing about this now to you guys.. so yeah... I cutted today...even before this...I had a feeling today was gonna be a bad day...I'm sorry guys..
I'm scared she's still gonna do it..she said to me she gonna see how long she can last before she breaks...if she goes I'm going...I'm sorry...
So we'll see if she's at school tomorrow....
I love you guys...
And I love you Callum 💙 .
- Daniel 💙😷
