Not His Juliet

Chapter 11

"You a walking whiskey vat" Austin answers serving himself another shot.

"Huh?"

Obviously I'm not drunk enough if I still can't understand this damn cowboy lingo. It's like a whole other language. One I'm betting I'll learn soon enough if I stick around Austin long enough. Which I fully intend to. Austin laughs again shaking his head at my non-understanding.

"It means you a heavy drinker" Austin informs me tipping his drink back in one gulp.

I wink at him and take another shot. Did I just wink? Angela White does not wink, like ever. Oh I am so drunk. Isn't drinking a sin? I think it is. Yup I'm going to hell. Or worse, I'll be featured on a special on Jerry Springer. I can already see my mother disown me.

"Hey..." Austin say bring me out of my thoughts.

He tips my chin up to make us eye level.

"What's gotcha scowlin'?"

  I sigh at his observation. I may just be drunk enough to tell him my sorrows now, I just hope he's drunk enough to forget them come morning.

"My mother, the perfect flawless Isabella White," I start making quotes with my finger as I describe her.

I can't help but notice the bitterness in my voice. Guess alcohol really brings out your true feelings huh? A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.

"Would have my ass if she ever saw me drunk in a small town pub with some man that's not my husband. Actually thinking of it she'd probably have a heart attack by the mere thought that I even know your name." I laugh darkly.

Leave it to my mother to ruin my drunken happiness when she isn't even here. Austin says nothing but he's looking at me so I know he's listening. I continue anyways. If he's willing to listen I'm willing to confess, under the influence of course. I drown another shot.

"She wants me to be this perfect person with perfect everything. I think she might actually believe that one day you'll be able to search the definition of perfect in the dictionary and find my damn picture alongside of hers of course. Gosh she's just so suffocating you know?"

"I'm always Miss Perfect nothing matters more than being perfect. I can never please her though. I graduate from the best University in the country top of my class, valedictorian actually and you know what she did?"

I drown another shot before continuing.

"Nothing. It wasn't a great enough accomplishment for her. So I go and I god damn cry, sweat, and bleed for my company. I build the most successful publishing company in New York and still nothing. The only time I knew I was even close to getting her approval was the second I told her about my engagement to James."

"I'm no one to her if I don't have the perfect house, job, and man by my side." I finish bitterly.

I wave at the bartender for another bottle this time I order whiskey. Might as well go all the way right? I turn back to Austin to watch him absorb all the information I've just given him. Dear Santa, the Easter Bunny, and even Jack Frost please let him forget all my problems come morning. I don't need his pity. This is my life I'm use to sacrificing everything for everyone else. Gosh why did I open my big fat mouth?

The bartender brings over the bottle and I serve myself another shot. I might as well tell him the whole story while I'm at it. Maybe then he'd even decided he'd want nothing to do with such a fucked up girl. Guess I can kiss goodbye to our new friendship. Oh well, maybe it's for the better. Austin is a distraction from the mission. The mission of marring James even when his family is hell bent on convincing him otherwise.