The Everlasting Thing We Call Life

Here Goes Nothing

I mean not nothing. There has been a lot of "something" going on in my life each and every day of high school. When you're growing up in a place like my town, things can get messy. I feel like it doesn't allow for freedom of expression like some other places do. Maybe if I grew up in New York City or Boston I'd feel more at home in my own skin. 

It's not that my town is awful. The place I call home is nice, but it's just very boring and nothing is abstract about it whatsoever. After 8 PM, everyone is already in their rooms watching TV just like I am doing now... even on weekends there isn't much to do. I'm not going to sit here and act like that isn't appealing to me, but I wish that more people came together. I just wish I had tons of neighbors always looking out for each other, but instead they are closing the blinds as soon as it gets dark and not leaving the house. Maybe they will later on to walk their dog, but that life is pretty...plain.

So, you become resourceful. You do your best to make the greatest friends possible, ones that don't have conflicting schedules with yours and ones that are down for anything. I'm not talking about the crazy "anything," but just that they are willing to try something new. Instead of going to the movies for the 50th time, maybe we will eat at some new restaurant downtown or paint pictures together! Or go on the longest most hellish bike ride ever! The possibilities are endless, but getting bored is not uncommon.

Sometimes when all my friends are working or out of town, I literally just sit in my room on my laptop listening to music for hours making countless amounts of Spotify playlists that I will most likely end up deleting. Having all this free time can be great, but it also just gives me too much time to think. I end up thinking about a whole lot of nothing; about stuff I can never change and things that I really regret but have no way of turning back to fix. A whole lot of nothing becomes a whole lot of "something."