What to Check List

Chapter 2

Dr. Edward finally show up with his nurse. My mom still nowhere to be found. But, luckily, before my name got called, she got here.

"Ms. Darren. Dr. Edward is ready to see you now." The nurse say. I wave at Alec and he mouthed 'goodluck' as my mother and I enter the room.

"How are you, Nia?" Dr. Edward ask me, clicking at his pen over and over as he examined my last result of MRI.

"Shitty I guess." I blurt out. My mother was shocked so was everyone else.

"Nia!" She hiss and I shrug. It's not like this is the first time I acted like that. I hate the fact that doctors still ask how am I doing every time I came. Well genius, if I was doing okay, I will never come to this place at the first time.

Dr. Edward laughs, "Its okay Mrs. Darren. I know it was a stupid question to ask. But, Nia, it's a standard procedure. Now, are you feeling better than before or is there any other complain?"

I shake my head, "No. First I want to ask you. How many years do I have to spent to do these all over and over again? Colonoscopy, MRI, and all these shit and then chemo and repeat. How many years or months or days do I have to spent the fucking rest of my life doing this before I eventually die?"

The room was silence. I was out of breath after yelling to everyone. Fuck all of these, I'm going to die anyway.

See? No one can answer my question.

"Nia. I'm sorry but you have to do this if you want to heal. It's our efforts to heal you. If you want to get heal then this is the way--"

"I didn't ask you that. I asked you the time! The time I have left. How many of it?!--"

"Nia! Please honey don't--"

"No, mom. I'm not going to keep doing this if all of these are useless. I rather found out how many years I have left then not knowing anything. I want time mom I don't want hope. I lost hope a long time before. I want time so that I can spent the rest of my life with the things that I always want to do. I want to spent it with no regret!"

"You're not going to die!" My mother scream and the tears are falling down.

"One and a half year, before your last surgery. If the cancer still spreading we can't do the surgery. But if after one and a half year your cancer stopped spreading then.. you have another chance." Dr. Edward finally say, his face telling that he's sorry and there is nothing he can do.

Mom freeze. But, she's holding her tears. So does me.

"But if in one and a half year the cancer still win and we can't do the surgery... then I die?"

----

Omg I'm tearing up tooooo:(( my father is a cancer survivor and in two days he's 6 years cancer free! This story is dedicated to him, my superdad❤