Explosive

15 || Stars

We have known each other for barely a month. "At the time I thought it was the right thing to do," he finishes, looking up at the sky.

"It wasn't the right thing to do," I say. His body tenses up and he furrows his eyebrows at me.

Spinning around to look at me directly he says, "What do you want me to do? Apologize for something that happened almost four years ago?" I lean backward on my heels and try to block out his intense gaze.

"I'm sorry," I murmur, bringing my eyes to his face. He looks away.

"Don't apologize, Moore. You didn't do anything and you're right about the fight. It wasn't the right thing to do." I stay quiet because I'm surprised by his words.

They weren't what I was expecting at all. "I'm sorry for blowing up on you last week. About the whole Tamara thing." He's looking at the sky again.

"It's okay," Blake nods his head but doesn't say anything. "You can't see any stars here," I say, watching the dark sky with him.

"It's only in the darkness you see the stars, Moore. The lights from the city make it impossible to see any of them." Blake gestures in front of him. His body doesn't seem on edge anymore, just tired. He points up at the sky and says, "You see those seven stars?"

"Yeah." I can barely make them out though.

"That's the Big Dipper," he mumbles. I smile but don't say anything. When I was younger my mom sometimes used to take me to an open field to look at the stars.

She never pointed out any of the constellations expect for the Big Dipper. That was the only one she knew. "It's a group of seven stars that make up the Ursa Major, the Great Bear constellation."

"That's the only constellation I can point out," I say with a laugh, feeling embarrassed at my minimum knowledge of Astronomy.

"You can use the Big Dipper to find the Polaris, the North Star," he continues, moving his hand slightly. "The Polaris is part of the Little Dipper." I try to follow his finger but the light from the stars are too dim for me to make anything out.

In Oakville, I had learned about Space during my first year in high school. It seems so long ago. After a while he drops his hand and laughs, it's soft and musical.

"What's so funny?" I ask, stepping forward but avoiding the railing. He doesn't respond for a while and I stare at the sky, trying to find the Big Dipper again.

"My sister loves Astronomy," he says finally. "That and unicorns." I realize what he's doing. He's trying to explain himself, probably thinking it's odd for a guy to be talking about stars.

"What's your favorite animal?" I ask randomly. Blake gives me a strange look before leaning forward on the railing again. "Just trying to keep the conversation going here."

"I used to have a thing for cheetahs when I was younger," he answers. "I wanted to be one and... still kind of do." He gives me a grin when I chuckle at his response. "What's your favorite animal, Moore?"

"I love penguins because they're so adorable," I respond. Before he can say anything Josh bursts out through the door, his arms crossed in front of him.

"Dude! I was freaking looking for you everywhere. I thought you left already," Josh roars. He looks at me and frowns. "What are guys even doing?"

"Just talking about random shit," Blake mumbles, tucking his hands into his pockets. His words feel like a punch but I ignore them and move to quickly collect my things from the swing.

"Audrey, you want to play video games with us?" Josh asks, his eyes filled with excitement. Blake has his eyes set on his scuffed-up converse. The moment of sincerity we had shared seems likes a distant memory, almost forgotten.

"I kind of suck at them," I answer, remembering the countless times Emily and Aryan had tried to make me play with them.

"Come on, it'll be fun. I think I may have a soccer game lying around somewhere," he says, wiggling his eyebrows. "It's a huge deal that Blake is actually going to stay and play."

Pressing my bag to my chest I ask, "Why is it a big deal?"

"The guy is always working," he responds with an eye roll, looking at his friend accusingly.

"That's not true, Josh," Blake says with a smirk. "I love playing video games with you." Josh just rolls his eyes a second time and disappears into the condo. Without turning to look at Blake, I follow Josh inside, sighing a breath of relief at the warm air that envelops me.

"Okay, I'll play," I say to my cousin as we walk into the living room. I collapse onto the couch and rub my numb leg slightly. Blake saunters in and sits beside me, his expression revealing very little.

"I'm going to destroy you, bitches!" Josh shouts. His eyes widen when I glare at him. The rest of the family is fast asleep upstairs and waking them wouldn't be a good idea.

"Sorry," he whispers loudly but his eyes are full of excitement. Digging through his collection of video games, he finds the one he is looking for and holds it above his head like a trophy.

Even if I love soccer, I'm not very good at the video game version of it. After a few lame attempts at playing I hand the controller to Blake. "Moore, we're going to school this asshole." He nods his head at Josh and I can't help but roll my eyes.

"Seriously, bro? Are you going to turn your back on your best friend? Not cool, man. Not cool." Josh is sitting on the armchair, easily taking the ball from one of my players and shooting it into the net.

"You have an unfair advantage," I whine. "It's your game."

"It's your game," Josh retorts. Blake moves his thumbs over the controller quickly, focusing his eyes on the TV screen. He bites his lip in concentration and leans forward. A few seconds later he throws his arms up, his eyes filling with delight.

"Score!" he whisper-yells. He hands the controller back to me, smiling sheepishly. "Your turn." This time, Blake guides me when I finally get ahold of the ball and I manage to take a shot in the net.

"Nice shot, Moore." A grin spreads across my face and Josh groans, shifting on the chair. Despite Blake's help, Josh still manages to win all seven games.

A part of me feels happy, while another yearns to just watch Aryan and Emily play video games again. Things can never go back to the way they were before but, in this moment, I feel content.