Don't Even Think About It

Chapter Three - Ouch

Olivia looked at her reflection in the first-floor girls’ bathroom mirror. When Mackenzie had asked her whether the vaccination hurt, she opened her mouth to say it was fine; great, even! But then she realized how insane she’d sound. Sure, she liked vaccinations—they made her feel safe and protected—but was she really going to announce that? That was not a normal thing to say. So she stood there, not responding. Which did not help in the looking-normal department.

Olivia sighed.

On the plus side, it had been nice to see Nurse Carmichael. Olivia and Nurse Carmichael were old friends.

Okay, not friends-friends. But in truth, Olivia felt more comfortable in the nurse’s office than she did in the cafeteria.

She was in the infirmary a lot.

Like, a lot, a lot.

At least twice a week.

Anytime Olivia had a cough, or a stomachache, or a hangnail, she went straight to Nurse Carmichael. Just to make sure it wasn’t cancer. Or a heart attack. Or lymphangioleiomyomatosis. Which, sure, only affected one out of a million people, but it started with a cough, and if you were the one out of a million, then you were done-like-dinner within the year.

Olivia’s father had had a heart attack when he was forty-two. Olivia had been ten. One minute they were a happy family shopping at Roosevelt Field mall; the next minute he was clutching his chest and lying on the grimy food-court floor. He was dead by the time they got to the hospital.

After that, Olivia avoided food courts. And malls. And Long Island. Her mom felt the same way—they sold their house in the suburbs and moved a few blocks from her mom’s job at American Express in downtown NYC.

Olivia found Nurse Carmichael’s office, with the clean white walls and posters reminding us about the dangers of meningitis, comforting.

When she’d walked in to get her shot, Olivia had said hi, Nurse Carmichael had asked how she was, Olivia’d said she had a small headache but was otherwise fine, Olivia’d stuck out her arm, she’d gotten the shot, and Nurse Carmichael had slapped on a Band-Aid and told her she’d see her soon.

Olivia had no doubt that was true.

Then Olivia had chosen a green lollipop.

She waited until she walked away from Mackenzie and the rest of us before unwrapping it and popping it into her mouth. She hadn’t wanted to look stupid sucking on it.

But now Olivia stared at her green lips and mouth in the bathroom mirror and realized she looked ridiculous. Why had she chosen green? Why, why, why? She looked like a sea monster. Or the Hulk.

She leaned over and rinsed her mouth with water. The green color stuck.

There was no way she was going to the cafeteria to talk to you-know-who. She wasn’t going to talk to anyone that day. She wasn’t even going to open her mouth that day if she could help it. Or the next day.

Oh no. No, no, no.

She had to open her mouth the next day. She had her speech! At eleven! What if the green didn’t come out in time? What if it never came out? She held on to the edge of the sink, feeling dizzy, wishing she were anywhere but there.

***

Mackenzie watched as Nurse Carmichael and her giant needle crossed the room, heading straight for her.

“Cooper, you have to go first,” Mackenzie said.

He pulled up his sleeve and made himself comfortable on the nurse’s chair.

Nurse Carmichael aimed the needle at him. It was about to attack him. Any second. It was coming closer.

Mackenzie tried to look away. Must look away. Couldn’t look away. She definitely should have looked away.

“ARGH!!!!!”

That was Mackenzie, not Cooper. Cooper barely felt it. It was like a mosquito bite when you knew to expect a mosquito bite. And mosquito bites didn’t get to Cooper. Nothing got to Cooper.

“Easy peasy,” he said as the nurse pressed a BandAid onto his arm.

Mackenzie saw the room swim in front of her. “I don’t feel well. If I’m sick, I can’t get the shot, right?”

“Not if you have a temperature,” the nurse said.

Mackenzie nodded. “I am pretty sure I have a fever.”

Nurse Carmichael laughed. “I’ll check it just in case.”

The nurse pulled out the no-mouth thermometer she always used, the kind that scanned our foreheads, and took Mackenzie’s temperature.

It beeped.

“No fever,” Nurse Carmichael said.

“Damn it.”

“You don’t have to get the shot if you don’t want to,” the nurse said. “It’s voluntary.”

Mackenzie could have walked out.

We all could have walked out. Every single one of us could have turned around and walked right out the door and never looked back.

Would have, could have. Should have?

Didn’t.

“No.” Mackenzie took a shaky breath. “Just give me the stupid shot.” She flailed her right arm out.

The nurse rolled up the arm of Mackenzie’s black cashmere sweater.

“Ow!”

The nurse laughed. “That was just the alcohol.”

Cooper squeezed her knee. “Close your eyes. Imagine something good. Like lunch tomorrow.”

Mackenzie could do that. She closed her eyes. Imagined Cooper’s lips. He did have great lips. Pink. Like he was wearing lipstick even though he wasn’t. Plump. The top slightly plumper than the bottom.

But then another pair of lips crowded into her brain.

Bennett’s lips.

There was a stab in her arm. Ouch.

She deserved it. She deserved the pain.

“You’re done,” the nurse said.

Mackenzie didn’t want to open her eyes. Didn’t want to face Cooper.

“Babe?” Cooper said. “We’re done.”

We would be, she thought, if you knew what I did. But you never will. She opened her eyes. “Don’t forget your lollipop,” Nurse Carmichael said.

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Thanks for reading chapter 3 of the sneak peek of my upcoming novel DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT! I will be posting the 4th and final chapter of the except this Sunday and the book will be out in the US and Canada on March 11th. I'm doing a ton of events, so come say hi if you live in Seattle, NYC, Houston, Atlanta or San Francisco ! (Dates and places on my profile. ) Thanks all! XO Sarah