Chapter 29 - Let's step inside.

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I stare at the boy before me in wonder and amazement through my blurry eyes.

This boy in front of me.

How?

How can one person endure so much pain and still live on?

The wind rushes past us, blowing strands of my brown hair around. Both of us refuse to look away from each other.

He smiles softly as he notices a stray tear slip from my right cheek and fall on the grass patch beneath.

"What did you do then?" I whisper, unable to find a voice to speak louder.

He smiles slightly, "Guilt ridden, I went to the police. All of my previous fears that dad might hurt us if I went to the police vanished. I was numb. I was emotionless. I didn't care anymore. So I went to the police and told them everything. Of course I would have been arrested too. But Sam and Andrew helped me, with the help of her father. I couldn't have cared less what happened to me but they were dead set."

I stay silent and just let him continue.

Another warm tear slips down from my cheek.

"Dead set that it wasn't my fault," he turns away from me and shoves his hands in his pockets. The last light of dusk falls on him, casting a soft glow on his features. His sharp jawline, midnight black hair, sharp but slightly crooked nose is highlighted underneath the light.

"They started blaming it on everyone else," he chuckles humorlessly, "They blamed it on Jay. Their logic was if Jay hadn't provoked me to carry a gun or taught me how to shoot, nothing would have happened. They blamed The Hounds gang, if they hadn't offered me a job nothing would have happened. They blamed everyone else other than me."

He spares me a side ways glances, "And do you know? For a while, I blamed them too. Just to escape from the guilt. But in my heart...I always knew. I always knew that I was the real monster here. I was the one that pulled the trigger. I was the one that went to the police because he couldn't bear the guilt. I was the one that betrayed the trust of Jay and all of my gang members and landed them in jail. I was the one that made Jay turn into another monster."

Silence passes between us. But it's not awkward. More like a thoughtful silence where both of us are accompanied with our own thoughts.

All the pieces of the puzzles seem to fit in now.

How he recognized the fake couple at the carnival so easily? Because he was surrounded by similar signs most of his life.

Why is he such a pessimist? Because he has faced only hardships in life. Terrible hardships.

Why does he have such a soft spot for Sam and Andrew? Because they were always there for him.

He's not Charles Xavier.

He's just a guy who has lived through more shit than most grown ups could ever imagine.

I have no idea what to say to him.

Sorry? Hah. He has probably heard that word so many times, it has become a joke to him.

But he doesn't give me the chance.

"Sometimes I wonder," he inhales sharply, "I wonder what it would have been like if I did something differently, anything differently. Would things have been different then? Would he still be...here?"

Finally, gathering courage, I meet his unnerving gaze steadily.

I have no idea what to say.

But...maybe I don't need to.

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