Someone Under Stress Meets Someone Looking Pretty (Lin-Manuel Miranda X Reader)

Disclaimer: This Chapter is Angst

Sorry I kinda dropped off the face of the Earth, there. Going through a really rough patch. I'm okay, but if I didn't say something like this I would have failed:
No means no. If it's your body, you and you alone have dictation over it. Don't let anyone tell you that they have to right to touch you in ways that you are uncomfortable with. Thankyou.

You stand at the stove top, wearing a simple cooking apron and poking at a pan with a wooden spoon. You breathe deeply, inhaling the scent of the sautéing vegetables, as you listen to the popping oil in the pan.

You feel hands slide around your waist from behind, and the heaviness of Lins head on your shoulder. "Are you going to tell me why you were crying earlier?"

You sigh, continuing to shove the vegetables around, "Are you going to tell my why there are burnt bananas in the sink?" You feel Lin freeze for a moment before relaxing into you again, "Maybe sometime..." You can feel his nose pressing into your cheek as he says, "But bananas aren't important right now. I want to know why you were crying."

"Mmm... Maybe sometime." You say, condescendingly, squirming away from Lins touch. You look back at him and he frowns, "That's not fair." He says, crossing his arms.

You shrug, "I don't want to bother you with my shit. You've got so much on your plate, what with Hamilton and FreestyleLove." You look back at Lin. You watch him slowly turn around, hugging himself, he walks into the living room, sits on the couch and puts his head in his hands. You sigh, putting a lid over the vegetables on the stove.

"Lin, honey, what's wrong?" You say, walking towards him. The man looks up at you, his face is stricken with pain. His eyes meet your gaze and then flee from it, examining the floor.

"Nothing..." He says, then puts his hands to his face. "No, that's not true." Lin sighs, "It's just... I feel like an asshole." He looks up at you, "You should never feel like you're bothering me. I should be there for you, I should-" "Lin," You say, walking toward him, "It's okay." "No, its not!" Lin says, sharply. He slowly stands up, "I should never let you feel like my dedication to my work comes above your happiness."

You reach out, gently touching his arm, you want him to calm down. "I'm sorry." He says, grabbing your hand. You nod, you've both been distant recently. Lin has been more and more taken into the world of Hamilton while you've been rushing about, preparing to graduate.

Lin sits down on the couch, gently tugging you with him. You lean on his shoulder and curl into his warmth. You feel a pressure in your chest in anticipation of the conversation you're about to have.

You look up at him, "Lin? I have to tell you something." Lin gently laces his fingers into yours. You exhale a long shuddery breath and say, "I can't stay here anymore."

Lin's hand tightens around yours, but he says nothing, he just closes his eyes. "I'm so sorry." You say, gripping his shirt, "I just can't stay here. I have a life to live, Lin. I have places to be."

"I know." Lin says, his voice lacking all of his usual playfulness. "And I know that it's unfair to ask you to stay here and not follow your dreams on my accord." You put an arm around him and feel him shiver under your touch. "Which is why I'm leaving first."

"W-What?" You say, your hands beginning to shake. Lin opens his eyes, but doesn't look at you. He slumps forward, slowly, bringing his hands to his face, "I can't keep burdening you. It's not logical, you and me. Together. So I'm headed to New York next week."

"What?" You say again, this time more of a command, you grip onto Lin tightly, tears once again streaming down your cheeks, "N-Next week?" You shiver. That's too soon. Lin nods, "Yeah. I would have told you sooner, but..." He trails off, looking from you, to his lap top. "I didn't finalize the decision until just now."

You look from Lin to his lap top, "W-What do you mean?" Lin slowly leans forward, grabbing the laptop, a light smile playing on his lips, "I'm done, (Y/n)." Your eyes widen, "With Burn or...?"

Lin nods, "I've written enough for a complete rough draft. It's long, choppy, no polish... but it's all there." He sighs, "Im going to need to buy a laptop." You shake your head, "It's okay, you can have mine." Lin sighs, putting the laptop down on the table, "That's the problem, (Y/n), I can't keep mooching off of you." He pulls his hand away from you, so he can wrap his entire arm around you. He pulls you closer by the waist.

"You're not-" You start, but Lin interrupts, "I am." He smiles sadly down at you, and pats his lap. You gently crawl in, staring up at his big brown eyes looking down. He puts a hand at your hairline, and gently shoves his fingers through your hair.

"I love you so much, (Y/n), and that's why I have to leave." You blink a couple of times, "Lin..." You grab his hand, you want to stop him from leaving. But you also know that you have your own plans to follow your dream. You sigh, and push your head into his neck, "Okay."

"Okay?" He says, confused. You nod, "Look around, Lin. You'll never be satisfied. Not here." You smile, though you want to cry, "You should go to New York and be happy and..." Your voice breaks, "I'll miss you." Lin sighs, softly, and kisses your head. "I'll miss you too."

Lin sits back on the couch a little, and you lean against his chest. You look up at him, "How will you pay to live there?" He shrugs, "I've got enough to get there." He grins, "And New York is full of hungry Puerto Rican's, im sure I'll find me an Abuela to take me in." He kisses you head, "But don't worry about it."

You nod, knowing that you were going to worry about it. But you don't press the issue. Because you know, in the back of your mind, that you were leaving him, too. So you couldn't blame him for the things that you don't tell him.