“But I am Khamul!” shouted the spandex-clad athlete, thumping a bony fist on the chipboard table. “I am the fastest rider in my great nation! Why is it that I am not allowed to compete?”
“Well, you see…” the organiser arched his fingers nervously. “We have certain…criteria that athletes must meet in order to compete in this event.”
“Oh, really? And what might they be?”
“Erm…” the organiser looked the man up and down. “It’s…erm…”
“Do you not allow black riders in the Tour de France?”
“Oh no!” The organiser waved his hands frantically. “It’s not that! It’s not that at all!”
“Then what is it?” the rider barked. “Spit it out, man!”
“A fellbeast is not a bicycle!”
“Oh.” Khamul looked at his colossal steed, then back at the spindly racing bike of the man in line behind him. “Oh yes. I can see what you mean.”
“Also…” the organiser scanned the spreadsheet in front of him. “I can’t find a ‘Mordor’ option anywhere on this form.”
YOU ARE READING
OCR is Not the Only Font
HumorSilly, surreal and sometimes serious, these thirty-one very short stories cover a vast range of subjects and themes. Written entirely during July 2012, these flash fiction pieces are accompanied by a deeply unscientific analysis of the challenge tha...
