Opposites Attract | Dean Ambrose

Chapter 37: Jon's Mental Breakdown

One Month Later.....

Colby's POV:

Jon has changed ever since the funeral. During the day, he's quiet and barely says a word to anyone and then at the end of the day, he comes back to the hotel late at night drunk off his ass. At first, Joe and I were concerned but we gradually got used to it. We tried to talk him out of it but he wouldn't listen. He usually walks through the door and to his room. After a few minutes, we'd hear crying and then silence, meaning he fell asleep.

We felt awful for him. We didn't know the pain of losing a loved one so we couldn't relate but seeing our brother in such a condition hurt us. The hospital also allowed us to take Piper and since Jon wanted nothing to do with her, Joe and I looked after her. She looked exactly like her mother and father. She had Jon's blue eyes for sure along with his hair. She also had Maddison's smile. She was a mixture of her mother and father and Joe and I really loved her.

It was around 3 o'clock in the morning and all three of us were woken up by crying.

"Is that Piper??" Joe groaned as he got up.

"Yeah." I groaned, rubbing my eyes and getting out of bed to make her milk.

"Urrrrr....get that stupid baby to shut up!!" Jon yelled.

"Jon, how could you call her that?? She's your daughter for goodness sake!!" Joe asked.

"I already told you, that thing isn't my daughter. She killed my Maddison. There's no way I'm accepting her."

I went over to Piper and started feeding her which calmed her down.

"Jon, you barely looked at her. She's adorable. How can you be angry with her?? She's a mixture of you and Maddison." I said.

I saw Jon tense up. He looked at Piper for around two seconds before looking away. He groaned before turning around and going back to sleep.

"Just ignore him." Joe mouthed.

I looked down at Piper and saw she had fallen asleep again. I took the bottle out of her mouth and kissed her forehead before laying her in her crib. Before we collected Piper from the hospital, Joe and I went out and bought all the necessary baby supplies, including a transportable crib. I yawned before getting back into bed and falling asleep.

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The Next Morning.....

Jon's POV:

I woke up the next morning when I felt the sun hitting me. I looked around and saw Joe and Colby were still asleep. I got out of bed and was making my way to the bathroom when I spotted the crib. I didn't know why but I found myself walking over to it and looking at Piper.

"I-I'm going to be a dad Maddison. Oh my god." I had no words to express how happy I was.

"I always dreamed of this. I never thought it would happen." Maddison said.

All those memories of Maddison and I flooded into my mind. Back when I was so happy.

"What's wrong??" she asked.

"One second." I grabbed a couple pillows and arranged them on the sofa. "Now you can sit."

"You really don't have to do that." she said.

"Well, I have to look after my two girls." I said.

"What makes you think it'll be a girl??" she asked.

"I know my stuff babe. Now, sit down. I don't want you getting tired."

I felt a small smile creeping on my face.

"I'm gonna get so fat." she pouted. "I'm gonna look so ugly."

"No you're not. You're always beautiful in my eyes. No matter how big you get, I'll still love you the same."

"I love you so much."

"I love you too." 

I reached out to touch Piper when I felt that small smile on my face quickly disappear.

"Jon!!! I can't. AAARRRGGGGHHHH!!!"

"Please stay with me. I won't let anything happen to you." my tears were already falling. What would happen to me if I lost her. I couldn't lose Maddison. She's my life. She's all I have left.

"Jon, just know that.....I love you." she whispered. 

I began to bring my hand back as more memories came into mind.

"I'm really sorry but we couldn't save her." He said, making my world crash down beneath me.

"What do you mean?? Don't play around with me man." I said, trying to hold in my tears.

"She was in a lot of pain and unfortunately, the pain was too much for her body to fight so it shut down. I'm really sorry for your loss." He said before walking away.

I found myself with tears in my eyes as I was still staring at Piper. That small amount of happiness I was experiencing vanished just looking at Piper. I found myself glaring at Piper with hatred in my eyes. She took away the one person who made me happy. The one person who taught me how to love.

She started moving and suddenly, she woke up. She saw me and immediately began to smile. That smile. It was Maddison's smile.  

"Jon, you barely looked at her. She's adorable. How can you be angry with her?? She's a mixture of you and Maddison."  

Colby was right. She has some of my features along with Maddison's. I couldn't handle it. I didn't like looking at Piper. Every time I looked at her face, I saw Maddison. My heart couldn't take it. It was like Maddison was smiling at me but she wasn't. I found myself breathing heavier as I looked at Piper. She was still smiling and was reaching her hand out to touch mine. When our hands touched, she smiled wider which made me quickly move my hand away.

I was having a mini panic attack. I couldn't stay around Piper. It just brought back horrible memories of Maddison and I and I couldn't handle those. I started moving back until my back hit a table and made a small noise, waking up Joe and Colby.

"What's going on??" Joe groaned.

"What happened??" Colby asked as he yawned.

"She.....Maddison.....that smile....." I was having trouble talking. I was having trouble breathing too.

"Whoa, Jon, calm down." Joe said as he and Colby got out of bed.

"I....I can't. She's killing me man. She reminds me of Maddison and I can't take it!!! I'm going to go crazy!!!" I yelled as tears spilled down my face and I gripped onto my hair as I felt myself collapsing onto the ground.

"Jon, calm down." Colby said.

"How can I calm down???!!!! That baby is going to haunt me in real life and in my dreams!!! She's gonna break me!!! What do I do with myself??!!! I can't be around her!!! SHE'S BRINGING ALL THESE MEMORIES BACK!!! I CAN'T DO THIS!!! JUST KEEP HER AWAY FROM ME!!!! KEEP HER AWAY BEFORE I DO SOMETHING EVERYONE REGRETS!!!!" I yelled, practically laying on the floor in my own tears, still breathing heavily.

"Jon, let's just step outside." Colby said as he grabbed my arm and pulled me out of our hotel room.

"I can't Colby. I can't do this anymore." I cried as he pulled me into a hug and I cried on his shoulder. "I want Maddison back. I can't live without her."

"Shh. It's gonna be okay Jon. I promise." Colby said as he rubbed my back to calm me down.