Feelings

1

Soo... I'm pansexual.
I wish I wasn't queer,my life would be a lot more easier considering I live in a country where a reduced amount of people support LGBT+ some people don't even know there are sexualities other than straight and gay, they don't acknowledge genders beyond the binary. Besides my parents are homophobic and transphobic, my mom accepts gays and lesbians but out from that nothing else and she just accepts it because her brother is gay and her bff is lesbian, what a coincidence; but my dad does not like queer people at all, he is grossed by people like them, like me.
And actually my best friend is homophobic and transphobic too, I mean I really have hopes that she would at least accept me if I come out to her, we've been best friends since ever, literally I've known her since I was 4 and at this moment I am 15. That's a lot of time, I don't think she would end our friendship because I am queer, would she?
In other topics, I think I'm in love, holy shit, I've just said it, well wrote it. I haven't told anyone, because telling them would be practically coming out. I've had a crush on this person for 6 months now, I think that already counts as 'fallen in love'.
Her name, I won't give her real name or any other real name, let's call her Naomi, she is in my class although she is younger, and smaller than all of us but that doesn't mean she isn't smarter, she is really smart the smartest of the class actually, maybe she is not the prettiest one, but for me she is; I hope she knows it. Problem here, I don't know if that counts but she calls me 'best friend' a lot, am I on the friendzone?; second problem, she's straight.Not because it is technically the default but because she deliberately told me
' I'm a straight LGBTQ+ supporter' at least I know she wouldn't turn my back if come out to her.
Anyways how do I come out to my parents or anyone; do I just sit them and say 'hey I'm pansexual' I bet they won't even know what that means, fun fact: in my language 'pan' means bread; I wouldn't be surprised if they asked me if I am sexually attracted to bread. But in all seriousness I have tried coming out and it didn't turn out pretty well, that's a story for another day.
Sometimes I wish I could erase labels, we would all be humans, but then I think labels are what makes us unique, they what makes us...us.
Or maybe if everyone knew and accepted labels it would also be easier. I could just walk around with the pansexual flag as a cape and nobody would discriminate, but unfortunately where I live most people give nasty looks to someone who holds their same-sex partner's hand.
But that's how life works, I was thrown in this path to make myself stronger, or to teach people around me about LGBT+ community, to teach them to not discriminate based on a label. There's a reason behind me being queer in an anti-gay zone.
But just time will determine that.