My Fault

Unexpected reactions

“What the hell, Lylah!” He yelled when he saw the mess I made.

I looked up at him and saw the powder still on his nose, and I could feel myself getting really angry. “Don’t yell at me, Kevin! Look what you’re doing to yourself! Why?” I asked, frustrated.

He stood up and shook his head. “Just leave me alone!” He screamed.

I stood there in shock. I had never seen this side of Kevin before, and to be honest, I was scared. He looked so angry all because I knocked the table over. I knew he was already high. I couldn’t move, I didn’t want to. I wanted to help him.

“I said LEAVE!” And with that, I felt his hand hit my face.

I fell backwards and hit my back against the bed. I then covered the part of my face that he slapped and looked up at him with tears in my eyes. His face softened and he quickly went over to me. “I’m so sorry, Lylah! Oh my God I’m so sorry!” He said and tried to hug me but I quickly scooted away.

I then got up and ran out of the room and into my room. I couldn’t believe what had just happened. I slammed my door shut and leaned against the wall, then slid down to the floor. I cried into my hands trying to deal with the pain and confusion.

I thought back to what Kyra said about Kevin. How he gets bad when he’s upset, and I had just seen firsthand what happens. The cocaine was one thing, and then him hitting me. Was this all, or was there going to be more? I was scared for him, scared for what he would do next. I couldn’t understand why he acted this way. I tried to think of a reason, but I couldn’t pinpoint it. I knew that what Will had done could have done something, but not possibly this much.

My thoughts were interrupted when someone knocked on my door. “Lylah, open up.” It was Kyra.

I reached up and locked the door, then pushed my back harder against it. “No, I’m busy.” Was all I said through the tears. I was still holding my face where I had been hit.

I heard a sigh, but she didn’t walk away. “Please. Tell me what happened. I’m here for you.” She said, sounding concerned.

I didn’t want her to see me like this. I didn’t want anyone to see me like this. Most importantly, I didn’t want anything to think badly of Kevin. He had been on a very powerful drug when he hit me. It wasn’t the real him. The real him would never lay a hand on me.

“Kyra I need to be left alone right now.” I told her.

“Okay, but I’ll be in the living room if you need me.” She informed me, then I listened as she walked away.

I slowly got up, using my hands to push me off the ground and to a standing position, and walked to the bathroom. I turned on the light and looked in the mirror. He had hit me so hard that there were already bruises forming around my cheek and eye. I choked down the tears and closed my eyes for a few minutes, trying to focus on getting away the pain. It was so severe, but I was strong enough to deal with it.

After a few minutes like that, I opened my eyes back up and grabbed my cover up. I had to apply it very gently, but I also had to apply a lot of it. I knew I would look cake-faced, but I had to do whatever I could to hide the bruise. When I was done, I sighed and threw down my makeup. There was no way of hiding the whole thing. It was too dark. I was surprised by how fast it formed, but I was guessing it was because of the amount of force he used.

Of course now it wasn’t as noticeable, but if someone were to look closely they could definitely see it. I just figured I would keep my head down and maybe even a hood up so my hair would stay in place over the bruise. I walked into my room and put on a hoodie, then put up the hood. I made sure my bangs covered the eye that was hit and walked out of my room slowly.

I didn’t realize how long it had been until I heard Emily yell that lunch was ready. There was still another helper I had yet to meet, but I was sure he or she was just as good as Tom and Emily. I walked into the kitchen and saw Kyra, Johnny, and Kevin sitting at the table. Kyra eyed me suspiciously, but I shook away her look and sat down at my usual spot. Kevin’s eyes landed on me and the pain in them hit me like a brick. I had to take a deep breath and try my best to keep the tears from falling. I knew Johnny’s eyes were on me too, because I looked really weird with my hood up and my hair in my face.

I ignored them and ate the salami and cheese sandwich that was on my plate. Just as I was done with my sandwich my phone rang. “I’m sorry.” I said quietly as I got up from the table and walked into the living room.

When I grabbed my phone and looked at the Caller ID, I couldn’t help but smile. “Hey!” I said when I answered, trying to be as cheerful as I could.

“Hey, whore! Forget about your best friend?” Chelsea asked.

“I’m so sorry, I’ve just been really busy.” I explained to her. “I miss you so much.”

“I miss you too. And as you know, my birthday is coming up, so I’m having a party this Friday starting at 4. Can you come?” She asked.

“Of course! I never miss your birthday.” I told her.

“Great. Text me once in a while, okay?” She asked.

“Alright I will, bye!”

“Bye!” She responded, then we hung up.

I slipped my phone back into my pocket and peeked around into the kitchen. They were still eating, well everyone except Kevin. I knew he wouldn’t be hungry with the drug he was on now. I sighed and walked into Kevin’s room. I didn’t care if he would get mad at me, I needed to find the bag of cocaine. I searched under his bed first but found nothing. I then searched his drawers and still nothing. I let out a sigh and was about to leave until the floor board under my right foot lifted up a little. I got down on my hands and knees and carefully lifted it up. What I found shocked me. There was the bag of cocaine, and then a bag of weed with three pieces next to it. I grabbed the coke then stood up. I walked over to the bathroom that was attached to Kevin’s room and dropped it all in the toilet, then flushed.

After that I walked back into the room to put the floor board back. When I got down, I thought about the throbbing pain in my head and cheek, and decided to give what I was thinking a try. Kevin’s door was closed, so I took out the bag of weed, a bowl, and filled it up. I then grabbed the lighter and took a hit. The first hit burned, but I didn’t stop there.

Before long I had smoked the whole bowl, and was putting everything back. Before Kevin could catch me, I ran out of his room and into mine. Everything felt so good, and I could feel the pain slowly subside. I felt amazing.