Hey. It's your brother. Jay.
I found you. Asleep. In your bed. Well, not asleep. You weren't breathing, but I only realised that when I came closer. Your eyes were closed, your skin was cold. It reminded me of dad. You had the same fate as dad, you left by choice. I don't blame you.
Or yes, maybe I do! You left me! You left me and now I lost my twin, my brother, my other half! I want to scream, throw stuff and punch the walls, but I also want to cry. Just cry cry cry. In my bed, under the blankets. Where I'm safe. Where i can dream about you. Where I am in a world that didn't lose you.
I wanted to join you, I wanted to end it all, but I couldn't. I have so much. Mia madre. Lexi. Blake. Sam. Ashton. We were even trying for a baby. I can't say goodbye. I can't leave them, that would be selfish. And I'm done being selfish.
I just want us back, Rolf. I want our movie nights back, where we would eat tons of food and make fun of bad movies. I want our monthly visits to our grandparents back, I want the dinners, movie theaters, our existential crisis party's where we would listen to tøp and laugh. All I want back is you, Rolf.
We're having a baby. She just told me, and I'm happy. I just wish...I just wish you could've been an uncle. A father. Grandfather even. WE WERE SUPPOSED TO GROW OLD REMEMBER! BAD GRANDPA'S FOR LIFE?!?!?!?!
why did you have to leave?
Why?
Please just tell me why...
VOCÊ ESTÁ LENDO
Love, Cancer & Me ;; RANTS
Não Ficção"Fuck depression. Step on it's tail and say tell him to fuck off." in which a tired boy rants about life and it's messiness..... cover by @pasteldevil-
