The baby I never knew PART 1

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May 2015: By this time I was still working at Hooters, but before I left I met this boy named Brandon. When I met Brandon at first he was sweet, and kind. He worked at Nissan, and his family loved me especially his mom. When Brandon and I went on our first date we went to Hooters to eat and watch the fight. His friends and brothers had tagged along so it was kinda fun except for the fact I had to drive my car. So of course he smashed on the first date, and yeah he was kinda still living with his mom, so it was kinda awkward, but I enjoyed it. As time went along, I got another job working at Xerox while Brandon was still working at Nissan. It came around to be the middle of may when one night before me and Brandon had sex he was taking about having a baby. I explained to him that I was not ready and didn't want kids, but he didn't listen to me. That's the night I got pregnant with his child. I'll never forget me buying three pregnancy tests just to confirm that I was already two months. When I told Brandon he was so elated with joy, and full of excitement. Me on the other hand I was scared , and mortified. Not only was I a leader in the church, but what would my family think let alone my church family think. Once I told my family they all wanted me to get an abortion, except my sister and my granny. Those two wanted me to keep it because they wanted something to spoil. My daddy on the other had was a total different story. He wasn't mad nor disappointed but he did want me to make the decision based on what I wanted to. I made the decision to have an abortion, and Brandon hated me for it. He hated me so much that he broke up with me, and told me he never wanted to talk to me again. I have to admit I did let my mother side of the family make the decision. They scared me into he abortion with their threats, and total negative attitude. I had the abortion in August at 5:15pm. The procedure lasted a total of forty minutes. Lynn, my trainer at work covered for me that day because I was in training at xerox and I wasn't supposed to miss any days while I'm training, but under the circumstances she covered for me. I remember after the abortion I found my sonogram of the baby, and almost died. I would have had a Valentine's Day baby in 2016, but that would never happen now. After a couple weeks went by I feel into a semi state of depression. I could not get the thought that I killed my child out of my of mind, and it was breaking my heart to the upmost. After a lot of prayer, and just coming to terms with the abortion I eventually was able to move past it, and just live my life, but it never occurred to me that maybe god was trying to tell me something that year but I don't think I was listening to him.

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