emotions//joshler

secrets

To Josh's total surprise, Tyler had almost agreed immediately to go to the party. Josh had been expecting some sort of resistance, or some hesitation at the very least, but he was met with Tyler's adorable half-smile, his slight nod and wishing ten minutes the boys were bidding Josh's mother a hurried goodbye and diving into Josh's car.

"Are you sure you wanna come?" Josh asked for the millionth time that day.

Tyler gave another half-smile, looking up at Josh with happy eyes. "I'm sure," he said.

Josh bit his lip, chewing on it slightly as they drove some more. He had no objections to Tyler coming along, in fact he wanted him to be there, mostly because he was discovering he loved the smaller boy's company, but he was nervous.

Fuck, he was always nervous around Tyler. It was something he was getting used to, something he was growing around. But the constant fear that something bad could happen to him was always in the back of his mind, almost obsessively so.

Josh shot Tyler a quick glance. It was growing dark and Tyler's angelic face was illuminated by the dull orange glow of the sun setting. God, he was so beautiful it made Josh's stomach turn over. Chewing on his lip with renewed vigour, Josh turned back to the road. Things were good, Tyler seemed extraordinarily comfortable, which in itself was amazing, but Josh couldn't shake the niggle of worry. It was one of those things the universe seemed to do to Josh, have everything go miraculously well , only to have the tables turn in the blink of an eye.

But Tyler was happy right now, his mood a swirl of pink and yellow, with stabs of excitement and Josh couldn't worry about anything when he saw Tyler's smile, because it was the most beautiful thing in the world and- oh, fuck, he was falling in love wasn't he?

Josh let out a laugh aloud as he wrapped his mind around this thought. He was in love with Tyler Joseph.

Said Tyler Joseph flashed him a stare, looking confused. "Are you okay?"

Josh was still grinning, high off some unknown euphoric sensation. "I'm good!" He laughed again. "Great!"

Tyler smiled too, even though Josh could tell he didn't understand. Maybe one day, when Tyler was free of his past, something could be possible between them. Not today, though. For all Tyler's renewed happiness, the blackness was still there, waiting for the right moment to strike.

Josh parked the car in Dallon's driveway, hopping out quickly and opening the passenger door, allowing Tyler to slide out.

"You didn't have to do that," he muttered, looking down.

Josh frowned again. He wished Tyler could understand that he did nice things for him because he wanted, not because he felt he had to.

"Hey," he murmured, stepping in front of Tyler. "I know I didn't. I wanted to."

Tyler flushed. "T-thank you."

They walked up the driveway, strangely close to each other despite the width of the path, not that Josh minded because it gave him and excuse to be close to Tyler. After a few moments of silence, Tyler paused, looking at Josh.

"Why are you so nice to me?" Confusion swirled around his mood, the colour blotting out the other moods. "Is someone paying you?"

Josh shook his head. "No! Not at all. I'm nice to you because I want to be, because you deserve it."

Oh and I also love you, Josh added silently. But we can get to that later.

Tyler blushed, but he looked down at his feet, mumbling something. Josh sighed. He couldn't make Tyler believe he was special, no matter how hard he tried.