Cross my heart, hope to die //Tanner Braungardt//

Chapter 25

POV Kenzie

"First of all, what I'm going to tell you might scare you. It still scares me." I say lifting my cup up to my lips. "It's okay. Just tell me." he says rubbing my hand. I take a shaky breathe "I told him about my depression." I say looking at my tea. "And he took that badly?" Quentin asks. "No, he took that well." I say looking him in the eyes. "Then I told him that I... that I" God. I can't get it out.

"It's okay Kenzie." he says encouraging me. "That I cut" I say. "Kenzie no." Quentin says holding my hand tighter. "I'm sorry", I say holding back tears. "It's not your fault. It's not your fault for having depression." he says. "Yes it is. And it's my fault that Tanner left me. And it's my fault that I made Grace cry." I say as tears roll down my face.

"Why did she cry", he asks. "Because she saw how bad I look." I mumble. "Kenzie. You are the most selfless person I have ever met. You are more worried about your friends than yourself. It's not your fault that Tanner decided to act like that." he says. "He wanted me to tell you that he's so sorry. He regrets what he said. And he started crying when he saw your video. After he calmed down, he started crying again because he lost you. He's broken Kenzie. I've never seen him like this. He can barely make a decent video." Quentin says.

I look up in shock. "W-what?" I stutter. "He misses you." he says. "I do to but I can't see him. I can't put my heart on the line." I say and more tears flood my eyes. "You don't have to forgive him. And you don't have to see him. But he wanted you too know that." Quentin says letting go of my hand. We quietly sip our drinks until the red haired lady comes back. "Here's your check", she says putting down a piece of paper. Quentin grabs a ten dollar bill from his wallet and gives it to her. "Keep the change." he says standing up. I turn around and grab my purse.

After sanding up, and waiting for the lady to leave, Quentin walks over to me. "I'm sorry for what he did." he says pulling me into a hug. "Don't apologize. It's not your fault." I say hugging him back. He nods and lets me go. "I'll see you later." he says turning around. "Bye." I whisper, walking to my car. I get in and start it before heading home. But I don't go home. I keep driving. I keep driving until I pull into Tanners drive way. "What the heck", I mumble. Why the frick am I here? I look up at the house and see Tanner open the door. He's shirtless and even from here, I can see his face is stained red.

I quickly pull out of the drive way and go back home. Once I get to my room and shut my door, I break. All the memories come back. All the good ones. All the joy and happiness that filled me then, is replaced with depression and heartbreak. The pain is to much to handle. I lie down on my bed and curl into a ball. This is to much. I can't do this.

I get up and do to my bathroom to find a box opener. After rummaging through my things for a couple seconds, I find one. I go back to my room and get on a pair of shorts and a long sleeve black shirt I never wear. Closing my eyes and clutching the blade, I imagine being happy. A smile forms on my lips just thinking about it. Soon, I go back to the bathroom and start the bath. Once it's full, I get it and roll up my sleeves.

I drag the blade up my arm and let out a small whimper due to the pain. I switch hands and cut the other arm. I drop the blade and start to feel numb. My arms drop into the water and it starts to run red. I hear my mom call my name. I don't answer. Instead, I think back to when me and Tanner first met. He was standing there, smiling. Quentin behind him, looking at Tanner. I remember our first date, he took me to get frozen yogurt. I remember when he kisses me. Each and every time. When our lips met, I felt fire works. I remember the good things about him. I remember what he said to me when I told him.

You may think it's stupid to kill your self over a boy. But it's not just him. It's everything. The bully's, the harassment, the depression. Not being good enough for anyone. I hate my life. I hate feeling the way I do. I hate feeling all this pain. It's to much. This feeling inside me has not stopped for years and it's horrible. I've been in pain for so long and I need it to stop. I'm so done with it. That's why I'm killing myself. It's not just because of a boy, it's because of the pain he caused me. It pushed me over the edge.

I hear my mom knocking on my door. I'm not answering. She comes in. I hear her calling my name but it's to late. My vision gets blurry and I hear her scream. She's shaking me now but the darkness takes over. Finally, I'll be happy at last.

(A/N) OMG. Two chapters in a day. Woohoo! Let's gooooo! But oh no Kenzie! Sooooo, is she going to die? Or survive? I don't know. And sorry for the short chapter. Just wait for the next chapter! Okay sorry guys! But that's all for now. Bye for now my loves!💜