Chapter 15 - Tomlinson

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Chapter 15 - Tomlinson

Being friends with one of the staff members of the bar is great when you go on your bike and then you drink so much you can’t drive back home, even less take the girl you’re crazy for with you. Nate helps me drive my bike back to my dorm whilst Robin and I take a taxi to go back to campus. This time I am really drunk, I didn’t go easy on the beer. In this occasion it is Robin who’s more sober and takes care of me. It’s humiliating but in this state I really don’t care.

As the taxi driver takes us to campus I lie back on the passenger seat and turn my head to look at her, so pretty, so natural, so… perfect. I don’t know if it’s because I’m really drunk and I have no control whatsoever over my emotions, but it’s like everything I feel for Robin is overwhelming me. I want to shout at her how I feel, how I’ve felt all this time. I want to just grab her in my arms and kiss her senseless. But there’s still a sober part in me and that part is telling me that it won’t happen like this. I won’t kiss Robin when I’m drunk and I’m not sure if I’ll remember what happened. When I kiss her, when I tell her all I feel for her I want to be fully aware of everything. Of the way I’ll hold her in my arms, of the way her arms will keep me close, of the way her lips will mould to mine. I want to remember every second of that kiss, every feeling, everything.

I won’t kiss her for the first time when I’m like this, even if I’m dying to and it’s hard to control myself. I won’t.

But she looks so beautiful and she smiles at me, and meets my eyes and I feel my heart racing and my hands aching to reach her. Seriously? How can I feel like this, so mesmerised, so lovestruck when I barely know her? Yes, I know I read her column all the time and I kind of feel like I know her, but it’s not the same. I've never seen her laughing until recently, at least not the way she laughs when she’s with me. I never saw her eyes sparkle like that when she talks about football. I never saw her blushing or being awkward until I started talking to her.

I had a crush on her before knowing her and since I got a chance to properly introduce myself and start talking to her I just… all my feelings for her have grown stronger. I’m definitely crazy about Robin Summers and all the new things I learn about her.

Sometimes, for a few seconds, I think she also feels like this, that I just have to gather the courage and confess, but then I go back to reality and realise I’m in the friend zone. I have problems believing that I could be as lucky as to have a girl like Robin fancying me. Even less Robin herself. That sounds almost impossible.

“What?” she asks as I keep watching her, a foolish grin on my lips, I know it. “Why are you looking at me like that?” She’s smiling but I know she’s getting self-conscious. I should look away but I can’t, I just can’t.

“You look so beautiful.” Oops, that escaped my lips.

Robin giggles and looks away, playing with the curls at her right side.

“And you’re really drunk,” she says looking at her hands on her lap. I wish I could just reach one of them and entwine our fingers together.

“Regardless of that, I always think you look beautiful.” Well, I am really drunk because I can’t control my mouth. I’m saying what I really think, even if that makes her uncomfortable.

I see her blushing and taking a quick glance in my direction before she locks eyes on her hands again. “Thanks,” she whispers and I sigh. I’ve certainly made her feel uncomfortable and I know I should stop myself and just shut the fuck up, but I can’t.

“You are amazing, Robin. You really do deserve so much more,” I tell her more serious this time.

“Thank you, Louis,” she replies still not meeting my eyes.

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