Enhance

Chapter 34 - Summers

Chapter 34 - Summers

The moment I see the other player sliding towards him I scream. When they clash I can’t breathe and by when the paramedics take him away, with him still crying out in pain I’m crying real tears.

I fight my way down the bleachers. Nothing else matters, I don’t care about the fights. I don’t care that we’re not together anymore. I don’t care at all! I just care that he’s injured. That he’s in pain and I need to see him. People don’t want to move and I have to push them aside. I don’t care. I need to get to him before I have a heart attack.

I saw the way he fell to the floor, the way that other player hit his ankle and the way Louis screamed in agony. I keep crying, desperate to get to him. I don’t care whom I have to face, I’ll get to him. Even if I have to tackle the guards.

Luckily, I don’t get to that. When they see how desperate I am, how I’m crying and repeating Louis’ name they let me in. They even tell me where the paramedics took him. The final is again in London so I don’t even know this place, but I run as fast as I can and I barge in with the force of a typhoon.

“Louis!” I shout and when I see him on the stretcher I rush towards him.

Oh my God, my Louis, there, with sweat all over his face, in pain. There’s nothing in my mind but to make sure he’s all right. To make that pain go away.

“Hey, miss, please step aside,” one paramedic says but Louis’s hand reaches out for me.

“No, please, let her stay,” he begs and my heart beats again as I go for his hand. Right now all what has happened between us doesn’t matter. This is a time out for us.

“Oh God, are you all right?” I ask and shake my head, squeezing his hand. “Stupid question. Sorry.  How are you feeling? Is it bearable?”

“I’m better now,” he smiles taking our hands to his lips and kissing the back of mine. “Now that you’re here I’m so much better,” he whispers and I feel warm again. It’s like I’m finally home after days in the merciless cold. I’m finally where I belong.

“Okay, I’ll be right back. I’ll let you with the miss here. I need to talk with your coach so just don’t move and stay calm,” the paramedic instructs and Louis only nods, but his eyes are locked with mine. I’m not sure if he’s paying attention.

Once the paramedic is gone I step closer to Louis, my other hand going to his face, cupping his cheek. His whole expression relaxes and a smile appears on his lips. I know my touch makes no difference, but it seems like it.

“You’re the best painkiller ever,” he whispers, closing his eyes for a few seconds.

My own heart aches now. It was dead before, but now that I’m here with him, touching him, it’s started to hurt again because this, right now, is what we had before it broke and shattered. Yes, now in this very moment it’s like it used to be, when it was perfect. Me comforting him, him smiling, but I know that it doesn’t work like this anymore. I… I know it’s in big part my fault, because I can’t control my jealousy. But I can’t do that on my own. I don’t know how. I’ve tried so hard and I trust him… or I used to trust him, at least, but when I see those girls all over his face and him being oblivious I… I can’t think straight. It honestly clouds my mind.

I know… I know that if I can’t control my jealousy I will ruin every relationship. I’m sure I ruined many because of this. It’s not the first time someone tells me I’m too jealous but how can I change? I have no idea.

I want to change! I… love Louis and I lost him. This is the worse that could’ve happened. This was my nightmare and I lost him because I couldn’t control my jealousy. Because I let that control me.