Through Her Shattered Eyes ✔

Chapter 36 (Part Two)

"I didn't mean to," he whispers, his voice tremoring like little earthquakes. "I swear I didn't mean to." He looks at me with his eyes red-rimmed and heavy with tears. Our eyes lock.

"You didn't mean to what?" I prod.

"Kill her. I didn't mean to kill Erika Stryder. I didn't want to."

Reuben breaks his gaze from mine and fixes it on the gun that's now placed on his lap. I move a bit closer to him.

"Why don't you tell me what happened?" I ask softly.

He takes a deep breath in, pauses, then exhales loudly. "I don't know where to start."

"Just start from the beginning."

He hesitates, then proceeds to tell his story. "You remember the New Year's party, right? I told you about it. Well, it was after I stood up to Ben that Erika and I stuck around and became friends. At first, Faith didn't like it. She didn't like me because she felt I was stealing Erika from her, hanging around her too much. Faith wasn't wrong, I was. I was crazy about her. Erika was so kind and a nice person to talk to, I felt like I could be myself around her. She was the only girl who was genuinely interested in my friendship and not just there to use me for my brains because she couldn't figure a math equation. However, I wanted to be more than friends. After a couple months went by, I confessed my feelings toward her. It turned out the feeling wasn't mutual.

"She only liked me as a friend, and I think she felt bad about it. Afterward, things got awkward between us. Eventually, she stopped talking to me. At first, I thought maybe it was myself. There was something about me she didn't like. I figured I could talk to her and get her to change her mind, but I wasn't sure how to bring it up. So I started following her around. It wasn't long before I found out she was romantically involved with our history professor. They didn't make it obvious, of course. But being that I'm his assistant, I help him with paperwork sometimes. I was in his office one day, sorting through his papers when I came across something from Erika. I thought it might've been one of her study assignments.

"However, as I read more of what she wrote, it became clear it was a love letter she'd sent to Professor Kelly. It made me angry, and I figured that was probably the reason for Erika not liking me back. I started following them around to confirm my suspicion and saw for myself they indeed were dating. You can imagine how upset I was. It got me so upset to the point that I'd confronted her about it. I threatened I'd expose their relationship if she didn't break it off. But I couldn't bring myself to actually tarnish her reputation by doing that. I didn't want her to get in trouble with the university. Then, I came up with the idea of having Erika spend at least one night with me.

"I made reservations at that Ivory hotel for one night. Once I got to the room, I called her, trying very hard to sound like Professor Kelly. My plan worked, as I heard her coming in through the door. When she finally came to the bedroom, that was when I surprised her with the candles and incense. She was into that sort of stuff. I saw her standing there in that really pretty black dress; she looked beautiful, I couldn't take my eyes off her. The dress was flattering, it hugged her in all the right places. Although, she didn't look pleased to see me at all. I knew I wasn't who she was expecting, but I figured perhaps I could get her to change her mind and like me instead. I tried talking to her about it. She wouldn't have it; she was already irritated and not interested.

"I didn't know how to react to what she said. My mind was a complete mess, I wasn't thinking clearly. All the negative feelings I'd held inside just exploded. It was like I became a different person. When she was about to leave, I grabbed her and threw her on the bed, repeating over and over she couldn't leave. I did what I did to her, then I remember wrapping my hands around her neck. It happened so fast. I wouldn't let go, I just kept squeezing and squeezing until she stopped clawing at my arms. It must've been after what happened my mind cleared I saw what I'd done to her. I freaked out, pacing around the room, thinking what to do. I tried reviving her to see if she could breathe again. I tried so many times and called her name, but...she wouldn't move." Reuben stops for a second. He swallows hard and bites his bottom lip.