Lauren's POV
We've been back home for a few days now. Hawaii was so fun. Josh didn't want me to try surfing anymore though. I'm completely over my concussion now. I'm sitting on Josh's bed. I have my sketch book and I'm about to draw a picture of how the sunset and the ocean looked from the balcony of our hotel room, when I see it. A sketch I drew of Sam when I still lived in Kentucky. I scream and throw the book. I start breathing hard and start crying.
Josh walks in and looks at me alarmed. He looks in the corner at my sketch book. Sees Sams picture. He doesn't say anything. He just sets on the bed and holds me. Calming me down.
"I have to go Josh." I am finally.
"Go where baby?"
"To Georgia. To his grave site."
He nods. "We can go."
"No, I need to do this myself."
He looks concerned but he nods and says "Okay."
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Josh's POV
I'm still not sure how I feel about Lauren going to Georgia by herself. I want to take care of her. How can I do that if she's on other side of the country?
We're at the airport now. I'm hugging her and I don't want to let go. She kisses me and we say our goodbyes and our "I love you"s. Then she disappears in a crowd of people and she's gone. I feel empty already. I know she said she'll only be gone a few days, but I just don't feel right about this.
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Lauren's POV
I get to Georgia and check into my hotel. I sit down and already miss Josh. It's gonna be a hard few days.
I want to get back to LA and Josh as soon as possible so I decide to go to the grave site today. Thank fully Jennifer and Liam are filming close to the cemetery so they are coming to make sure I'll be OK. I tell them to stay in the car. I walk to where Kadie told me he was buried at.
The ground is still sticking up a little from where it's been dug up. The headstone has his picture on it. I set on the ground and put my hand on the top of the headstone. There's a box on the base of it. I open it. It's a baby picture of I'm assuming Sam and his real mother. She looks so happy. I get the folded up sketch of Sam out of my pocket. I put to my chest. I take in a few deep breaths trying to control myself so I don't lose my mind. I put the picture in the box and close it tightly.
I've seen in movies how when someone loses a loved one they "talk" to them when they visit their grave. So I decide I would try it.
"Hey Sam. It's been a while. Couple months actually. It's unreal. I can't believe you're gone." I start crying. "You were the greatest friend I've ever had. The only family I've had. You helped me through so much. This shouldn't have happened to you. I don't know what to do. I think about you all the time. I cry all the time. But Josh helps me. You encouraged me to go to LA with him. He's all I have left now." I realize the last part is true. He's all I have. What if I lose him too? I can't lose him. Not like I lost Sam. I'm already too attached to Josh. It can't go further. "I love you, Sam." I wipe my tears and go back to the car.
"Are you ok?" Jen asks.
"Uh yeah I need to tell you something."
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When I get back to the hotel I'm so nervous. Jen said that she doesn't agree with what I'm about to do, but that she would support me.
I dial Josh's phone with shakey fingers. Trying my hardest not to cry.
"Hello?" He answers. My heart is pounding.
"We need to talk." I say
"Lauren? How'd it go."
"Yeah it's me. And I got some closure. But I uhm..have another problem."
"What's wrong baby?" He asks. I almost lose it and burst out crying when he calls me that.
"I'm not coming back." I say
"It's ok baby you don't ever have to go again if you don't want to."
"Don't call me baby. And I meant I'm not coming back to LA."
He's silent for a while. "Why not?" He asks quietly.
"I can't do this anymore Josh. I've only know you for a few months and I'm already attached beyond belief. I just can't do this. I love you too much already. And it's hard enough for me what happened to Sam, but if I lost you? I don't know how I'd recover from that. You're all I have left Josh. And I can't lose you like that. So I'm just not coming back so neither one of us has to deal with that. You have a future Josh. And it can be bright without me. But me? I don't have much. And I have nothing to give you. You can move on from this. I may never move on but, it's better this way than what would happen the other way."
He doesn't say anything.
"Say something." I finally say
"What do I say?" HIs voice cracks. I know he's trying not to cry. "Can I say anything to stop this from happening?"
"No."
I can hear him cry a little more. "Then I guess we're done here."
And the line goes dead.
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(DON'T WORRY MUCH MORE TO COME)
