Far from the End

Chaper 1 : Always and Forever

He was looking at me, that look, that look that held you captive. Those big blue eyes of his that are so full of life. I wasn't looking at him, I stopped looking at him a long time ago, I was watching his soul, his whole being and I couldn't grand him his one final wish. 

''Jess, let go. I promise everything will be fine" But I couldn't let go, I knew he was lying. Nothing was ever going to be fine, not now, not ever. His eyes, the are ones I fell in love with, helped me get through this shitty life. They have given me the power to go through so much yet I  couldn't even grant him his last wish.

''Look at me, J. Look at me. I'll still be here. I'll always be here. Remember? Always and forever I'll be there to catch you. Every single time '' Lies... that's all I could think of his words. From sweet lips that tell me lies over lies just so I can continue on this harsh world.

''I can't Jack, I can't let go. Please. I'm begging you, let me do this, I can't live like this anymore. I can't, just let me do this for you'' I begged him while my eyes were getting heavier and heavier by the minute. I knew I was gonna die, but can you blame me for not wanting to let go? I guess you can, but that won't change a thing. Unfortunately sometimes we don't have a choice  but this wasn't one of those moment. No, not even close. For once I was in control and I won't let go. I love him and I can't have a sad and sappy ending, this is my story. I make the rules and I say who dies and who lives and I say I'm the one leaving.

''Stop'' I didn't even recognise my own voice, I sounded so weak, so scared, so fragile. ''Let me do this, I have everything under control'' Also a lie and the worst part about it is that I believed it. "I'm powerful enough to do this and I-"

"I never said you can't do this, Jess" he was getting closer. What is he trying to do?"But you won't." I can smell his sweet scent, he's too close and I'm too weak to put some distance between us. I looked at him, for a long time I was just staring at him, at his perfect body, handsome face and his messy hair. He's tall, but that's not what I noticed. He's looking way  healthier than the last time I saw him, his skin got back it's natural shone an-. "Easy. We are going to do this step by step." He hugged me. I could feel his big, strong, masculine body crushing my small, fragile little one into his. I felt at peace, home and for a minute it was perfect. I was where I was supposed to be. "Let go" he whispered in my ear. "Let go and it'll be alright" I wish it was that simple, but it wasn't. How I fish I could have just let go and return to my old, cheesy and happy old life, but I that's not an option anymore. I had to do this, this is what dearvreader you have  to understand I have to this. I couldn't think of another way to keep him here, safe, with me.

"You'll be here when I wake up" I wishpered back as I was looking pass my shoulder along  the scared faces of my friends I noticed  a mirror on the wall. What was curious about that mirror was that the reflection was just staring back at me, smirking, judging me, looking almost.... victorious?. Looking at it I am but a shell of what I used to be. My raven wavy locks of  hair turned a ghostly, almost inhuman shade of white. I looked sick. Blood-shoot eyes, pale skin stained byball the tarts that fell down my face  and...in that moment I noticed I wasn't even standing on my own feet. Jack was holding me while I laid still in his arms like a corpse. I won't even be a corpse if my plan is gonna succeed

"LET. GO.NOW" He said tighting his grip on me and all Kcould do was stand there watching him, watching the love of my life blur out by the tears I dropped. "Please, Justin" He said my full name. Justin, ironic isn't it? Having the name of a male while I'm a girl, but my parents thought it would be sweet to be named after my uncle."I can't lose you" One of his tears rolled down his cheek and landed on mine. The sounds of my friends sobbing was fading in the background. This was it. My end, my not so glourious end, but my end none the less.

"There is still time to end all of this. Let go." He said. I couldn't look at him anymore and it wasn't because I didn't want to, but because the colours were moving way too fast. Suddenly, everything became white and the sounds ceased to exist. Peace at last. The little life in me was leaving my body for good. In that moment I knew that no doctor, no miracle  could bring me back, I was lost, forevor. With all the strenght left in me i whispered 3 words that I hope Jack won't ever forget. I said

"I love you" and then the world turned from white to darkness.