If I Grow Up

Episode 7

Thirteen: Royal Party

Evi doesn't get her car fixed until the day of Miller's birthday and we drive straight to his party. Miller lives even farther away from our school than I do in a part of Chicago that I've never seen before. His house looks like a castle with two floors and balconies around the windows. A dark purple carpet is rolled out over the walkway. There are balloons twisted in the shapes of animals all over the green lawn. Colored streamers flutter from the porch. A man is parading around on stilts in striped pink pants blowing huge bubbles everywhere. Stevie Wonder is singing "Happy Birthday" over and over again from a stereo system. It is like a dream.

Evi shades her eyes at the running, screaming children and frowns. "Sounds like a circus," she says as I get out of the car. "I hope you have fun. I'll be back in a few hours to pick you up. Bye, Aisha. Luv ya."

I wave and watch her drive away. Miller runs down the purple carpet carrying a silver tiara with pink diamonds. He is wearing a gold crown. "I'm so happy you came," he says and fits the tiara on my head. "There. You're the queen now." He stands back and looks me over. I am wearing a white dress with a yellow flower at the waist and yellow flower petals all around the hem. It is the only dress I own. Grandma bought it for me when we visited her one summer in South Carolina. Before she died, Grandma went to church every Sunday and was shocked that Momma had never bought me a "church dress." She stormed out of her house early Sunday morning, took me to the department store, and bought the dress I have on now.

"Is there a booger in my nose or something?" I ask.

"Huh? Oh, no." Miller laughs. "It's just that each time I see you, you're more beautiful than last time I saw you." He takes my hand and we walk up the purple carpet where he introduces me to his mother who is sitting on her boyfriend's lap on the porch swing. "Oh, hey honey," she says in such a sleepy voice I do a double take to make sure she's awake.

Miller's birthday party is the most fun party I have ever been to. We are in and out of the house all afternoon, bursting piñatas, treasure hunting for candy, and running through the backyard obstacle challenge course. Everyone's favorite game, however, is "Catch the Dragon." Miller's mother's boyfriend volunteers to play the dragon. He covers his face with a dragon mask and fills a bag with chocolate pieces. We chase him all around the backyard with water balloons. When a water balloon hits him, he throws out some chocolate. The game is over when all of the chocolate is given out. Wishes are made. Ten candles are blown out. Presents are given. After eating Miller's chocolate cake and chocolate ice cream with M&M's, the other children start going home.

"Honey, when is your mom going to pick you up?" Miller's mother asks when she sees I am the last one left.

"My sister dropped me off," I tell her.

"Mom. Sister," Miller's mother says like it doesn't matter. "When is she coming?"

"She said she would come back in a few hours," I tell her.

"We can just watch a movie until she gets here," Miller suggests.

"Whatevs," his mother says. "Suit yourself." She yawns and goes up stairs.

We go in the living room and turn on the television. Miller puts in Ice Age and we sit on the couch and watch it. I've already seen this movie, but Miller hasn't and he laughs at every silly thing the rat-squirrel Scrat does. When it is finished, Evi still hasn't arrived. We go upstairs to check on Miller's mother. She and her boyfriend are in bed in nothing but their underwear, fast asleep. Miller covers them with a blanket and then tiptoes out of the room, closing the door behind him very softly. We go back down stairs.

"Let's get something to drink," Miller says. "Then I have to check on Monster. I almost forgot about him."

"Is that a dog, a cat, or a fish?" I ask.

"A dog," Miller says. "Mom said I had to keep him in my room during the party because she thought some of the kids might be allergic to him. You aren't allergic to dogs, are you?"

"I don't know. I've never had a dog," I answer. It is now night time, so I cut two more slices from Miller's left over chocolate cake for us to eat for dinner. Miller climbs up on the counter and takes out two wine glasses. He pours a small amount of splashy pink liquid into each glass. "Just a little because we don't want to get too drunk," he says. We take our cake and wine and go to his room.

Fourteen: Super 8

I expect a huge bulldog to rush out at us, but when Miller opens the door to his bedroom only a small black and brown terrier jumps down from the bed. He follows us out onto the window balcony with tail wagging. I put Monster in my lap and feed him some of my cake which he gobbles up greedily.

"Do you want a dog?" Miller asks.

"Yeah, but I'd like a pig first," I say. "And a spider like in Charlotte's Web. I asked Evi could we get a pig and she said no because pigs belong on farms, and we don't live on a farm. But if I grow up and move to Hollywood and become an actress and become rich and famous, I'll build my mansion on a farm, then I can have as many pigs as I want."

"Is that what you want to be?" Miller asks. "An actress?"

I nod.

"Cool! I want to be a movie director when I grow up," Miller says. "Maybe we can move to Hollywood together and you can act in all my movies." He is excited. I can see the gears in his head moving. "Actually, I'm working on a movie now. Do you want to be in it?"

"Sure. What's it about?"

"I don't know yet," Miller says. "I have SO many ideas, but I don't know which one to do first." He stuffs the last of his cake in his mouth, jumps up, and disappears into his room. He comes back outside carrying a box. "When I told my dad I wanted to be a movie director, he said there were two things I needed most: a good idea and a good camera," Miller says. "I already have a lot of good ideas, so I only needed to get a camera." He opens the box and proudly shows me what's inside. "This is a Kodak Super 8. My dad bought it for me on my birthday last year. He says all the great directors started out using Super 8's, including Spielberg."

"Is your dad a director?" I ask.

"No, he's a stunt double, which is still pretty cool," Miller says. "One time he was working and got to meet Jamie Foxx."

"Really? Jamie's my favorite actor," I say.

"Mine too," Miller says. "Who is your favorite actress."

I don't even have to think about the answer to that question. The first time I saw Taraji P. Henson was when I watched Streetwise with Momma late one night. Taraji's movie character, Tammy, reminded me of Evi. The drug dealers and gangsters in the movie reminded me of the drug dealers who rule Green Triangle. The entire movie seemed to be a mirror of me and my world, and that is when I decided I wanted to grow up and become an actress like Taraji. On and off screen, she is fierce and fashionable, intense and glamorous. To me, she is everything an actress should be.

"What? You too!" Miller exclaims. "Taraji is my favorite actress, too." We both start laughing, because it's hard to believe that there's another person in the entire world who likes the exact same things and people that we like. I would have never guessed that Miller wants to move to Hollywood and become a movie director. When we're in school, he constantly talks out of turn and gets into fights. I guess he does it to prove to Lee that he is African American even though his mother is white. But now that Lee is not around, the boy sitting beside me sipping deliciously sweet pink wine is funny, thoughtful, considerate, and full of dreams. He has all but declared his love for me. I'm not ready to do the same, but I do like Miller --- very, very much.

"We have so much in common, Aisha, it's crazy," Miller says.

"Crazy, and probably not good," I say. "Remember when Mr. Claflin was teaching about magnets? Opposites are supposed to attract, not similars. He said it was the same with people."

"Yeah," Miller says. He is quiet for a moment, then he says, "But maybe it'll be different with us. Maybe we're an anomaly."