Scars to your beautiful

Tough Decisions

So..chapter 1 huh?please keep showing your support by reading and voting.Give me the psyche to write please.oh,and i've written these two chapters in less than 6 hours~❤~love you guys
I stared up the ceiling for a little while just reflecting on my life.All my poor life choices, everything going on.I soaked my pillow with my tears..When I couldn't take it anymore,I got out of bed and staggered sleepily to the kitchen,opened the fridge and took out the three quarter leftover pie,sat on the kitchen island and just started digging into the pie and forking it into my mouth."wait..what the hell I'm I doing..food is the reason why I'm here .going through what I'm going through.. Food is not my consolation.. Food is my destruction.but then again..it was the only thing that always was there for me..the only thing that made me feel good..one of the few things I lived for.."this conversation with myself was making me go nuts.I didn't know what to do..I was stuck.I stared at the quarter piece of pie that was remaining.. Battling whether to throw it in the trash or just dumb it into my mouth.Just like the universe was speaking to me,the pie plate slipped off my hands and fell on the kitchen floor.The verdict was in and I made my decision..
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I was awoken by the doorbell... Shiit.. It was trash day.why did trash day have to be on my lazy-no-wake -up day. And today was my turn to take out the trash. The trash guys knew how lazy we were so they always knocked on our door. I dragged myself out of the bed like a zombie. I put on my flip flops and oh boy ..my eyes did hurt.. I could barely open them.my bedside mirror made it clear.eyes were super swollen and the skin around my eyes was warm.

The door bell rung for the second time. "Fuck it, "I muttered under my breath.I stood and went to the trash can.I pulled out the trash bag without a care in the work and rushed towards the door because I had seen Mr. Rojelio..our trash guy start to leave.

"Morning miss perren"he said in his Mexican accent.I don't know why but this morning his voice felt refreshing. "Heeeey Rojelio..how's your morning"

I always asked this question but I never cared. It was just a formality question you ask someone coz you have nothing to talk to them about. I have a feeling something had changed inside of me overnight. Today surprisingly I actually felt the urge to listen.

"My friend get shot yesterday. My son pass his class and my wife get American nationality last week.". Mehn that accent was funny.
"I'm so sorry to hear about your friend."
"Nyee.. He deserve it. He steal from me and run away to Columbia. He think I would not find him but he is now dead man,"he let out a little chuckle.. This made me laugh too. "I have to go do work or family get no food,"he added.
"Ok sir, have a nice day,"I responded. But then he stood there looking at me.
"What happen to your eyes,"
"It's nothing. Just a reaction to some medication I'm taking."I responded quickly to avoid further questions.

"I might be old man but not fool child.You don't want to talk about it, it's fine. But whatever it is don't let it ruin that beautiful face you have."..that gave my heart an awwwwwh..Those we're the nicest words I had heard in a very long time.
"I won't. I promise."I said as I gave him his tip which I was starting to forget about.
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At this rate I didn't care about what anyone else thought of me. I had made a decision and no way on earth was I gonna go back. I rushed back to the house and put some eye drops on my eyes.
It was only 10 o'clock and the sun was already scorching. Global warming had taken over the better part of  earth. I had to go look for a gym. I had never stepped in a gym before.. Like neeeever. Not in my life. So when I entered the ALPHA GYM.. I was a bit nervous. It was 12 noon on a Saturday and the gym was already packed. I headed straight to some room that was written manager. I knocked on it and when there was no answer, I pushed the door slightly open. Still, there was no one.
As I turned to leave, I bumped into this mountain of a man. "How may I help you."His voice alone sent me chills.. Not the good kind. The scary type. It was too deep, as if to complement his bodily features...

"I.. I. W-was just looking for the manager. "I finally gathered courage to complete my sentence.
"That will be me,"he spoke back."get in please",he ushered me to enter the office.
"So.. Sir.. I was asking if there is like space left in this gym. I would like to start my membership."I broke the silence.
I saw him open a specks case and get out some pink framed glasses. Too weird if you ask me. In my head I was like.. "Duuude... Pink.. Really?"As if to answer my thoughts, he said"they're my wife's. We accidentally swamped today morning.
"Dude.  Are you one of the tomorrow people or something.. Did he just read my mind? "I was still thinking.. Not out loud though.
"It's no big deal."I said trying not to sound judgy.
"It's ok. I've gotten it a lot today. The cricism I mean,"he spoke back.
I just gave him a wide plastic smile as he proceeded to look at the huge file beside him. The glasses looked smaller than his face. The sides we're literally burging out. I was too busy observing him and I didn't realise he had said something.
"I'm sorry. What?".I asked embarrassed.
"The space here is full. I just gave out the last membership. Unless I fill you in on Thursdays between 4pm and 5:30 at least until next month."

Hell no way on earth was i going to stay fat for another whole month. I was tired of who I was. I was tired of being me. I was no longer comfortable in my own skin. As much as I made a decision not to care what people thought of me, I was finally seeing myself through their eyes.. And it was not pretty at all.
"Sir.. I'll have to see.I really need this.I'll try seeing if any of the gyms have some space. If I don't find any other gym be sure I'll come back,"I said politely .
"Ok then. Thanks for stopping  by,"he said.
"My pleasure, "i said as I smiled, stood from the seat and wished him a nice day.
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I knew no gyms around. This is the only one I had ever seen around. Thanks to Google map, I found another gym five blocks away from ALPHA GYM.Funny enough.. It was just called  GYM, and it was more equipped  than ALPHA and less packed.This particular one had a counter at the entrance. I walked up to the guy behind the counter.He was smaller and looked friendlier than the guy in the ALPHA gym who I later realised was actually called Alpha.
The dude looked friendly.
"Hi,"
"Hi.I'm Michael. How may I help."his voice was fairly between barriton and tenor.
"Resevolt.Nice to meet you.I was asking if there are any vacancies for new members."
What's with gyms and files. This one too had one. He perused through the last written page with his eyes and then lifted his face to loom at me.

"You're in luck Resevolt.."
"Call me Reese."I cut him off before he could finish his statement.
"Ok Reese, there's only one spot left for this month."
"Awesome.I'll take it.. So..this is my first time in a gym and I kinda know almost nothing about gyms,"I realised I was talking too much to a guy I had just met.
"I'll call one of the trainers to show you around. You just have to fill this paperwork and you can start Monday."
"Fine by me "I responded.

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The weekend was super uneventful.I tried watching work out videos. Mehn. That stuff was intense. I didn't know if o could handle it but it couldn't kill to try. I was willing to. As long as it could get me out of this mysery.

  Thanks for reading the first chapter of my book. I hope you enjoyed it. Feel free to comment and criticize and give your ideas on how you want the book to go. I love you guys so much.Thanks to my buddy Ashley AshleyPedro5 for giving the cover for this chapter.. Thumbs up. Also feel free to send me covers.. I love you guys
            ~Hillary ❤~