One Night in January

Chapter One: A Face from Home

"I'm sorry. I promise I'm not usually this weird. I'm just not thinking straight. I'm Blake," I held out my hand and she looked at it, unsure, before looking up at me again.

"Blake Tyler," she said with a nod. "You really have no idea who I am?" I quickly checked her jacket for any sign of what sorority she might be in. Despite the frat boy image, I'd only slept with one girl, Brittany. We'd been together since high school and we broke up over the summer. She was studying marine biology and wanted to be a dolphin trainer at Sea World. She wasn't willing to give that up to eventually move with me to Connecticut to attend Yale, and I sure as hell wasn't going to give up my dreams to move to Orlando. Even though we both knew we had to end it, it hurt. But his girl looked familiar. I shook my head.

"I'm sorry, I don't." She rolled her eyes.

"I'm Corrine Bailey, we went to high school together. We were on Student Council together, we were each Class President." Immediately she came to memory. Yes, Corrine. She had been a sophomore when I was a Senior. She had always had something to say, in a good way, but we weren't in the same group of friends. I hung out with the smart athletes, and, well, I'm not sure who exactly she hung out with.

"Of course, Corrine!" I said with a smile. "I'm so sorry. Like I said, it's been a crazy day. I'm not an idiot, I promise." She smiled and pushed back a piece of hair that had fallen in front of her face.

"It's really nice to see someone from home," she said. Her smile was welcoming and nice. She gestured to the coffee shop across the street. "Wanna get some coffee? It's nice to see someone from home." The yellow light pouring out of the coffee shop looked appealing, and it looked warm, so I agreed.

I was surprised how easy talking with Corrine was. It felt so nice to just talk to someone from home about the small town stuff that many of the kids here just didn't get. Brittany had been one of the few people I knew from high school, and I didn't get to talk about home much. When I told her about my LSAT score she listened, she rolled her eyes when I mentioned my dad. "The Tyler with a bazillion titles still hanging on the wall?" She laughed. She got it. She knew the pressure I was under. When our coffee was done—and Corinne's cocoa, she made it clear she didn't drink that "disgusting black stuff"—I was sad to see her go. As we stepped out into the cold I asked my question before I even had a chance to process it, "Do you want to come back to my room?"
"In the frat house?" I nodded. "Is that allowed?" I shrugged and she smiled. "Well, do you want to come or not?" She smiled and followed me back to my room. 

I closed the door behind us as we walked in. I'd never really had a girl in my room before, other than some girls I brought up here to make out with during parties. Although most of my brothers weren't back yet, I didn't want to get any crap. And they'd laugh at me, I could hear it now. They were so desperate for me to have someone. I was athletic, tall, smart, and funny from what I'd been told and I was one of the guys most girls wanted to talk to. I always told my brothers it was because I didn't know why the girls were after me. But, they didn't buy that, and we all knew it was because I was the stereotypical frat boy, whatever the hell that meant. But, Corrine wasn't my girlfriend, I didn't want her to be my girlfriend or anything like that. I didn't want the guys bringing her up again. I just wanted to share my life changing news with someone who understood the immense pressure I had been under my entire life. 

"You really like books, huh?" I sat on my bed and took off my jacket and my boots. She dragged her finger along the hundreds of books I had on the bookshelf that I had built into my wall.

"I guess you could say that," I said with a smile. Some girls liked that I read, some girls didn't.

"Is there any book you don't have?" She asked. "1984? To Kill a Mockingbird? The Handsmaid Tale?" She said, her voice inflicting surprise, as she pulled the old paperback off of the shelf.

"One of my life goals is to read the list of the Most Important Books of All Time," I said. "I just need to brush up on my French to finish all of them." Our eyes met. Holy shit her eyes were blue.

"I don't know if you're kidding or being serious," she said before sitting on the bed next to me. "What are some of your other goals?" I drew in a breath. Hmmm. No girl had ever asked me that, not even Brittany. Most of the girls I brought in here just wanted to make out and touch my abs, maybe have me describe Lacrosse to them so the could use their limited lacrosse knowledge to impress other guys at the next party. She listened, and smiled, and nodded as I talked for what seemed like hours.

"What about you?" I finally asked. Her smile faded and she looked down at the ground.

"To not be lonely," she said before looking up at me. I frowned. I was surprised at the sadness I felt at hearing her say that.

"What do you mean?"

"It's just been so lonely here," she said. "You've been the first person I've really talked to since coming here."

"You didn't make any friends from last semester?" She shook her head.

"My roommate was crazy," she said with a bit of a laugh. "Like actually, crazy. She had this weird thing where she talked to stuffed animals and then did a weird Wiccan ritual with my fish," I laughed out loud.

"That is crazy." Her eyes widened as she nodded her head.

"Right?" We smiled and our eyes met before we bashfully looked away.

"I moved to a different dorm and it's just been tough." I nodded and we talked for awhile more, before being interrupted by my clock beeping.

"Wow, it's midnight?" She said looking at the clock. "I should get going." She stood up, grabbed her book and headed for my door. And then, I did something I'd never done before, something I still can't explain: I acted on feelings.

"Wait," I said standing up and walking to her as her hand touched my doorknob. "It was really nice to see you." Then, without thinking, as if my face was somehow disconnected from my head, I leaned in and kissed her. I wasn't intending it to be anything, but then again, I don't think people ever intend it to be something. To my surprise, she kissed back and it felt good, so good. As messed up as it sounds, the feeling of freedom I had for the first time, not giving a fuck what I was doing or how I was comparing to my father, and her loneliness and desire to be held, morphed together into this messed up, beautiful, intimate feeling. Before I knew what I was doing I flicked the light switch and walked her back to my bed. She sat down and pulled my sweater over my head and my eyes adjusted to the darkness. The moonlight danced on her as I kissed her neck and slid her sweater over her head and dropped it on the floor. I was surprised when she grabbed my wrist as I slid my hand under her bra and cupped her breast. She gasped.

"Is everything okay?" I whispered. She nodded and rested her nose against mine.

"Your hands," she said. "They were just cold." She leaned in and kissed me again. As we undressed each other and slipped under my sheets I was surprised at how unfamiliar this seemed to her. She was cautious, unsure. Not like Brittany or the other girls I had made out with. Towards the end of the relationship, it had felt like sex with Brittany was just a routine, honestly, and the making out was nothing more than me needing to satisfy my urges. But this moment with Corrine felt different. It felt like freedom. For the first time in my life, I could breathe since the weight of the pressure to out beat my dad was lifted. And being with someone who wanted me and my closeness, and not just my body, caused the kisses and rubs to be more gentle, more intimate, more passionate, more fun. Little did I know that a few minutes enjoying the freedom of the lifted weight off my shoulders would cause all of my dreams to be derailed, and all of my dreams to be put at risk.