Imperfectly Perfect

04

Willow

I started pushing Luke away as months passed. I was not going soft. I just wanted to hook up with Luke, right? Shit, I didn't know.

I walked to Luke's front door and knocked softly against the wood. Luke opened the door and his smile faded. "Oh, hi." He said and I pushed past him, walking to his room upstairs.

He followed in a few minutes later, and he looked at me confused. "I don't-"

"Shut up and kiss me." I slurred, tears brimming in my eyes. He looked at me confused, making me feel even more sad. "Actually don't, lets talk. But get me some alcohol please." I slurred.

He walked out of the room before walking back in, with a 12 case of beer. I grabbed it and slipped out onto his terrace and climbed to the roof. He followed and soon we were both on the roof. "I know you're confused." I stated, taking a swing of the beer.

"Don't be." I said, sighing. "I'm just a bitch, who wants to prove she's not falling for some blonde, singing, tall, lame, lanky, cute, good boy named Luke." I blurted, finishing the first beer.

"But I don't know if I am, anymore. Like, I used to deny that to the end. And now, I don't deny it. But I don't agree either. I'm so confused." I kept talking.

"I want to be, loved." I admitted, a tear slipping down my face. "I found my adoption papers in their room last night." I whispered, making him turn his head to me, shocked.

"Don't look so shocked. I look nothing like those people so no wonder." I laughed a little, grabbing another can. "I always knew I wasn't meant to be in this family. Then you came along." I started talking about Luke again.

"You were...perfect. For a person, anyway. My own family says you bring out the best of me. I don't see it but maybe. When's the last time I was arrested?" I rambled.

"The day after we met." I stated, and he nodded. "Shit, you're probably cringing at me. A drunk bitch who's confused about her feelings, so she's pushing you away." I sighed.

"That's not it at all." He finally spoke up. "It's just, you're really complicated. And that's not a bad thing at all. I'm sorry, I just don't know what to say. I'm sorry you found those papers, but how can you say you love me, or think you do, but completely ignore me for almost a month? That's not love." He said, hurt evident in his tone. "I know what love is, because I have felt it. I know how painful it is. To love someone and them not see you in that way. I know, trust me. You can't see it, can you?" He rambled. "I fucking know how you feel. I hate my fucking feelings because loving someone is painful. It fucks with your brain, it messes with your heart. It feels like a thousand needles are shoving through your chest. It leaves you in pieces and all you want is that person to come fix it, and put the pieces together." He breathed fairly hard. "But most of all, you develop a hatred for that person after a while. You hate them for what they did to you, and once you hit that point, there's, no, turning, back." He finished, sending a glare my way. "So, have fun with your broken heart, I'm done with mine."

He climbed down and left me sitting on that roof. I followed him, angrily. "What the fuck?" I exclaimed.

He turned to me, sighing. "Just go home and ignore me again." My heart literally snapped at his statemeny.

"No." I snapped. "I need my best friend." My lip started to quiver, and he brought me in his arms immediately.

"Sh, I'm here." He held me as my drunk side sobbed in his chest. I felt horrible.

Did Luke love me?

I frowned, sucking up the tears. "Luke?" I started slowly, scared I might upset him. "About, you knowing about the heartache." I started slowly. "Was that about me?" I heard silence. "Lu-"

"Just go to bed, Will." My face fell into a frown. He always calls me Willy. Even when he's angry.

I let it go and let myself drift into unconsiousness.