ambivalence || nate maloley

{twenty two}

Nevaeh's POV

"Alex, can you just please take me home? I need to get out of here." I say begging, not wanting to be at this party any longer. How is this even happening? Amaya hates Nate, Nate knows that Amaya is my best friend. None of this is making sense to me.

Alex drags me outside to where his car is and helps me in. I look towards the front door to see Nate and Amaya running out looking around, probably for me. 

"Are you okay Nevaeh? You haven't talked the whole way home." Alex asks looking between me and the road.

"Yeah I'm fine, my headache was just getting worse and worse in there, I couldn't handle it anymore." I felt bad for lying to him, but I didn't want him to know the real reason as to why I was in such a hurry to get out of there.

"Okay, well I'm pretty sure I've got some pills at home for it," he smiles at me. I don't reply, staring out the window thinking about what I've seen tonight.

Once we finally got to Alex's house he gave me a couple pills for my 'headache' but I threw them away when he wasn't looking. I find my phone and pull out out and my notifications are blown up with messages from both Amaya and Nate, all which I ignore.

"Hey babe, I brought you some of my sweats and a T-shirt so you can be comfortable." Alex says handing me some clothes for the night. I give him a quick thanks and go change.

I walk into Alex's room to see him already in his bed with only some basketball shorts on. If I were in a better mood right now I would be taking about how he looks like a god just sitting there, but I'm not. I lay in the bed next to him and he pulls me into his chest kissing the top of my head.

"Goodnight baby." He says turning off the lights and pulling the cover over us.

It's now 2:47 in the morning and I can't sleep. I've been trying to fall asleep for the past 4 hours but nothing has worked. I get up as quickly and quietly as possible to make sure I don't wake Alex up. I walk to his kitchen and sit on one of the stools he had next to the island in the middle of the kitchen. I just sit there thinking about Nate, not able to get him out of my head at this point. All of the sudden I see Alex come in and sit next to me.

"What are you doing up?" I ask him.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" He asks me raising his eyebrow a little bit.

"I just can't sleep I guess."

"Thinking too much?"

"You can say that." I shrug.

"Well what are you thinking about?" he asks.

I don't know if it's just because it's 2AM and I'm not thinking straight or what, but I feel the need to be honest with Alex right now.

"Being honest with you?" I ask, and he nods. "Well I don't want you to get mad, but remember how I was in such a rush to get out of the party?" He nods once again. "Well it's wasn't because of a headache, it was actually because of Nate. Nate and I are complicated. We had feelings for each other at one point, but the timing wasn't right, and we didn't know how we really felt for each other in the moment. Recently,we worked things out, and agreed to be friends, but just seeing him tonight with my best friend, it hurt. Not going to lie, but I'm sorry I never told you."

"Well I can't say I'm surprised, I always thought there was something more between you two. But I understand, as long as you're mine, and there's nothing but a friendship between you two then I'm fine babe." He says being totally understanding.

"Really? So you're not mad or anything?"

"I mean I'm not happy about it or anything, but I'm the one that has you, not him, so I'm winning right now." He brings his hand to my face and brings me into him connecting our lips. God damn, how did I get so lucky with this boy?

Alex and I ended up falling asleep not too long after our conversation last night. My phone wouldn't stop ringing, so now here I am. I have to face Amaya because she won't stop blowing up my phone. So this time when she calls I answer.

"Oh my gosh Nevaeh you finally answered! I am so so so sorry, please listen to me." I cut her off before she could speak anymore.

"Amaya, I just don't understand how you can talk so much about how you hate someone and then go and get ready to fuck them. Please explain that to me, because that makes no sense to me at all. Especially when that guy was someone that I had feelings for, feelings that you forced me to admit about! It you are able to do that to me, then obviously you're not as great of a friend as I thought you were." After that little rant I hung up and blocked her number. Am I being over dramatic? Maybe. Do I care? Not at all.

Alex and I hung out for a little while today, but eventually I knew that I had to go home and face Nate. When I get into the house I ran to my room as quickly as I could trying to avoid him, but to my surprise when I entered my room, there he was waiting in my bed.

"You need to leave." I say seriously.

"No, we need to talk." He says getting up and walking towards me.

"There's nothing to talk about Nate."

"Look, I'm really sorry."

"I don't believe you Nate. You wanna know why? Because one day you try to kiss me, you tell me to figure out my feelings, and once I do you completely ignore me. You know how stupid that made me feel? Then, I have to deal with you coming home every night with a new hoe, with you still ignoring the fact that I had feelings for you. Finally once I started to move on, you want to come onto me, telling me you can't deal with being just friends with me." Wow two rants in one day, new record. Nate then tries to speak.

"Nevaeh-"

"Nope I'm not done. Then, once we finally work something out, you go and hook up with my best friend Nate! My best friend, out of everyone you could have hooked up with!" I guess my ranting got a little loud because the next thing you know, Sammy comes in asking if everything is okay, looking between Nate and I. "Yeah everything is fine, thanks Sammy." He then leaves with a suspicious look on his face.

"Well you don't have any feelings for me anymore! You said so yourself, you have Alex now. You and I are just friends. How did I know this was going to affect you so much?" Nate says staring down at me since he was so much taller than me.

"Oh come on Nate, be both know Damn well I still have feelings for you, even with Alex being around." I admit. We just stand there staring at each other, and out of no where Nate pulls me close to him and grabs my face connecting our lips. I felt sparks, as cliché as it sounds, but this wasn't like kissing Alex, it was so much better. As good as this feels, I know that's it's wrong. I can't do this to Alex, he's still my boyfriend. I slowly pull away, not completely wanting to.

"Nate, that shouldn't have happened, I think you need to go now." He doesn't say anything, and this time just walks out leaving me more confused than before.

A/N: Yes I've finally updated, omg. It's been like what 3 months? My bad guys, lots of stuff going on, but here's this for now, sorry for the wait! More
to come!