Circle of Fear

Love You To Death

(742617000027) started blaring and they all screamed. Surprisingly, Shawn was the first one to address the crowd.

"Hello out there, Athens. Paul will always, always, remain a part of our music, our stage, and everything that we do for the rest of our lives." He said and nodded to Corey.

Corey then did his intro, "As you know, tonight is very emotional for us but it is not, NOT, a negative day. It is a positive day. A day for celebration. This is our first show with you. Are you having a good time and will you celebrate with us today?" He screamed, earning cheers from everyone in the crowd as well as all of us backstage.

They played (sic), Eyeless, Wait and Bleed, The Blister Exists, Liberate and Before I Forget.

Corey then screamed to the crowd, "This is very hard for us but Paul would have wanted us to come out with you all and celebrate his life. So, will you all help me sing a song for my brother? Can you do that Athens? Sing so loud he can hear us! Because he is here with us tonight. Can you feel it?" I had chills through my whole body. Brenna wrapped her arms around herself. My heart ached for them so badly.

They played Pulse of the Maggots, and then asked for a two minute silence for Paul. It was truly amazing to look out at that many people and hear nothing. That was true respect.

It made all of us cry even harder. They finished their set with Disasterpiece, Psychosocial, The Heretic Anthem, Duality, Spit it Out, People = Shit and Surfacing.

As Surfacing ended, Corey dropped his hands to his knees and 'Til We Die started to play.

The girls and I ran out to the stage and put up Paul's suit and mask with one of his first guitars.

The guys were a bit shocked. I told them I was going to get pictures so they all stood together and then slowly started doing individual shots with their families.

Corey hugged me tightly, whispering his thanks to my ear. Suddenly Sid pulled me over there to him, handing Shanna my camera.

She took about five photos and then I got the band back together for a few more group photos. Sid went up and turned the guitar and suit towards the crowd and threw an arm up.

Joey ran up there and jumped on top of the prop, latching onto the suit and crying.

Sid hopped down and embraced me in a hug. Joey reached up and touched the mask, then threw an arm up to the crowd and walked off stage.

Sid and I walked off the stage in each other's arms but they said to go the other way so we turned and ran off the other side instead.

Clown picked Joey up and carried him across the stage. Some members continued taking some pictures with different guys that were around.

As the song came to its close, all the guys were backstage and taking off their masks.

- - - - -

August 20, 2011 – Des Moines, Iowa

We're finally home from the first tour since Paul's death. I don't think the band has ever been as close as they all grew on this tour.

For once, we stayed in touch after it was over with. Joey called me saying that he was voted best drummer of the past 25 years by readers of Rhythm magazine.

This was the happiest that I've heard him in a while. "Let's fucking celebrate, then!" I explained to him.

We threw a pretty big party a few days later which was a huge success. I was standing outside talking to Chris when Sid ran up to me and threw me over his shoulder, running inside.