Those Coyote Girls

Chapter 2 - Ellie

I always knew living so far away from my family would be hard, but it was worse than I'd expected, living in Maryland without even a cousin to help keep me tied to the family. Sure, I Skyped with my parents and my sister and we texted and called each other, but it just wasn't the same. I couldn't smell them when I was away, couldn't hug them. And it was hard to pick up on the nuances of their expressions on a computer screen.

As a preemptive measure against the loneliness I knew was coming, I decided to move in with my high school boyfriend, Ethan. He didn't believe me when I told him it didn't mean we were serious. How could he? For humans, moving in together is a huge step. For werecoyotes, living alone is an act of self-harm. It wrings out so that life becomes a twisted, empty thing... or so I'd heard. So I moved in with him, and he took it as a sign that we were "headed somewhere."

I knew better than to get serious with a human... and he knew nothing at all about what I really was.

I told myself it was better that way, but of course it wasn't. He doted on me, and I couldn't help thinking of the upcoming mating season.

Sure, I'd had sex with Ethan before... but never during those months. A bond can only partially form with a human, and his scent would never call out to me like a true mate's would, but sleeping with him during mating season would ruin me for anyone else and I'd never experience a full bond with anyone. That time was coming up again, and how was I supposed to explain to my firmly human boyfriend that we couldn't have sex for three months? I couldn't. So I finally accepted the reality of the situation I had put myself in and broke things off.

Better to live alone and broken, I thought.

Dad and Rose both tried to get me to talk about the breakup when I went home for winter break. Mom understood without having to ask, though. It was too hard to pretend with Ethan anymore. It was a sad thing, but emotionally I was fine. In fact, I was excited. Break would be full of my own kind, as the holidays always were. Maybe I would meet someone.

Or maybe it would just give me time to find a platonic roommate.

Either way, I was feeling lighter than I had in weeks. Well... lighter and lonelier. So I decided to meet some new people over break, to push myself out of my comfort zone and make new connections. I dragged Rose into it since she obviously needed someone to yank her out of her life. I couldn't remember the last time she'd looked truly content.

But now we were at the party and the conversation I was having with this stranger was stilted and awkward and I almost reevaluated my whole life plan right there. Was it really so bad to just be part-mated with a human? Especially if he was kind and he loved me?

The answer was yes. Of course it was.

I hated when Rose was right. My idea to spend half of the party talking to strangers was a bust. Rather than conceding outright to Rose that I was wrong, I waited until she was cozied up with Clark. Then made my excuses and fled to the comfort of the familiar. I was never going to try spending so much time with strangers again. I just wasn't cut out for it.

I found my usual party group of like-minded rabble-rousers tucked away in a corner of the family room. They were already drinking. When Henry lifted his plastic cup to take another swig, I snatched it out of his hand and downed the rest.

Rather, I tried to down the rest. Instead, I ended up spitting most of it out onto Henry's arm. "What are you drinking! That's foul!" I yelled.

Henry made a disgusted noise and started blotting uselessly at his shirt. "Oh, come on," I complained. "It's brown liquor on a brown shirt. You can hardly tell."

"No, you can hardly tell," Henry complained. "I can feel your nasty alcohol spit all over my arm and I want it off. Besides, I'm gonna reek of whiskey."

"Afraid your mommy's going to ground you?" I asked with a mocking pout. Henry had always been fun to antagonize, and we'd been thrown together a lot as kids. I knew exactly how to get under his skin.

Henry just huffed, though, and turned to talk with Lucinda. She had been the only other werecoyote in my grade in high school, so we had latched onto each other despite our lack of common interests. It was a friendship I hadn't been sorry to let fade after moving away for college.

I looked around at the other people in the kiddie corner. Joel and Frannie were pressed against each other, sucking face shamelessly. I only barely resisted pulling them off each other. PDA had never been okay in my book, and now that I was newly single, it was especially painful to look at. Instead of making a fool of myself and them, I settled on a new target: George.

His dad lived down the street. I didn't know what George had been doing lately, but hearing about it had to be better than watching the happy couple. I sat down next to him and smiled.

George looked so bashful, so shocked, that I decided to have a little fun with him. I winked and slid myself closer so that our legs were separated by the smallest sliver of space. I was so close that he was warming my bare leg and I barely repressed a shiver.

"George, it's so good to see you!" I said, making direct eye contact and making him blush.

"Ellie. Uh, hi. How are you?" He couldn't meet my gaze for long. He stared at his fingers while they fiddled with a button on his sleeve.

"Much better now that I know you're here," I crooned. It might have been a little- okay, a lot- over the top, but boy was it effective. George turned pink all the way up to his ears. It was kind of adorable.

"I'm always here," he pointed out.

I crossed one leg over the other slowly, so I could show off my calf in the process. He watched, eyes flicking back and forth between his sleeve and my leg. My smile grew.

"So... Ellie... what have you been up to? Still studying public health?"

I dropped the act for a minute, momentarily stunned. "You remembered," I said, disbelief all too evident in my voice.

"Of course I did."

And now his neck was red too. I felt a little guilty. I reached out a hand and rested it atop his, stilling his fidgeting immediately. "What have you been up to?" I asked.

"Me? Oh, I've been working at the same old bookshop. It's good work, though. I've had other retail jobs, and this is the best I've had. The customers tend to be a lot kinder and sometimes you meet some pretty cool people."

"I don't think I could work at a bookshop," I confessed.

George shrugged. "It's not for everyone and if it were, I'd be out of a job. Besides, you're made for bigger things, Ellie. You always have been."

I was suddenly the self-conscious one. "Well, thanks, George. That's sweet." Very sweet.

Where had guys like George been all my life? When he looked at me, he really looked. And I hadn't seen him eye my chest once, though when I first sat down, I'd been angling it to his advantage. And who remembered things like that about people they hardly spoke to? I couldn't tell you Lucinda's major and I'd been friends with her all throughout the college selection process. We had made each other going away presents and everything.

"We should hang out over break," I decided.

"Sure."

We grinned at each other and I couldn't help myself; I scooted over that last little bit so that our legs were touching. It was oddly satisfying. George froze for a moment before flipping his hand so that it was palm-up and twining his fingers through mine.

Rose and Clark approached. She rolled her eyes when she saw me sitting like this with George. I had to squash the impulse to explain to her that I wasn't just using him... not anymore. Instead, I winked at her.

My sister was one of the smartest people I knew, but she had been making the stupidest mistake for the past few years by not pursuing something with Clark. He was smiling tenderly at her, heart in his eyes, and she was either oblivious or very good at self-delusion.

Maybe this year things would be different, I thought, and glanced at George.

Rose and I could both use a change.