starstruck

elena

Elena is at the grocery store with Paul shopping for green bell peppers (because her mom hates the red ones) when she bumps into someone on aisle six.

Of course, it is Karen.

She smiles and says sorry and is just about to leave Elena alone to suffer in silence (the way she prefers) when she turns around. "Elena, how nice to see you," Karen purrs, wrapping Elena in hug and pressing a cold milk carton into her back.

Elena wants nothing more than to shrivel up and die. Karen, obviously, is not caught up on the whole bisexual shenanigan.

Freddie had thought that Elena was being rude, or ignorant, or whatever, when Elena really was just being (extremely) thirsty. Everything was great.

"Oh, I'm fine. How're you?"

Karen beams and says she is very good and places the milk carton back in her cart. Paul is standing a few feet behind her, engrossed in the little cakes lined up by the dairy section.

He will be of no help.

"Oh, I'm so glad you came the other day! Freddie is always grumpy when her girlfriends fight with her," she laughs and swats Elena's arm like this is all very hilarious.

"Oh, I'm not Freddie's girlfriend." Elena looks at Paul, sending him an iron gaze. She's gonna kill him.

"Really now? I'm sorry, it's just so hard to tell these days, with Freddie being a lesbian, now. It's a pity, too, I'd thought you'd be a good influence on her. An astronaut girlfriend? Now that's a keeper." She laughs, maniacally.

Boy, does Karen talk a lot.

Elena nods and smiles and says thanks and makes up an excuse about having to pee. Before she leaves (finally), Karen asks for her number. "Maybe you two aren't dating now, but who knows what'll happen later," she coos (in the way that only old ladies do), an alarming twinkle in her eye.

Elena would, under normal circumstances, refuse, because being set up by a parent isn't the coolest or most suave way to date, but this is Freddie and she is Elena. She may keep grudges for far too long, but she keeps crushes even longer.

Freddie's mom grins and sends her a text with a picture of a cat. Bee, Elena remembers.

"See you later, alligator!" She wheels her cart toward the checkout lane, milk carton in tow.

Elena manages only a small wave.

Once the danger is averted, Elena jumps on Paul and hits his chest. They very nearly knock over a chocolate cake with 'Happy Birthday Danny' on it.

"Oh, Elena, what was that for?"

"For leaving me alone with Freddie's mother."

"Oh, you met the mom? That's great, you doofus," he says, all brotherly and condescending.

"No, it's not, and I want to die." She sits down on the floor next to the cakes. It is cold on the refrigerated linoleum. Paul slides down next to her.

"What happened," he asks, patting her on the head. Elena tells him about her little mishaps in Freddie's room (he laughs when he hears about the pantless fiasco), and then about Karen setting her up with Freddie, and then about her wanting to sink into the ground and disappear forever.

"Sounds rough," he whistles.

"Yeah," Elena confirms.

"Look, we've all had crushes that were better on paper than real life. For me, it was this girl, Maria. Real hot. I get to know her, and, well, that's all she was. Hot, I mean."