Shameless US Gender Bender

Franc the Plank Pt 1

"Okay. Okay okay okay,"

...

Lil was rolling a joint in her room when Isla came in to change.

"You should've hit her back," Lil said, looking up at her.

"If I ever do I'll fucking kill her," Isla replied.

"So? Eight to ten for manslaughter, get laid as often as you want, tattoos and everything," Lil laughed. "It'd be lesbo heaven," Lil passed her the joint and lit it up for her. Isla took a puff and sighed.

...

The next morning, Derek, Carly and Lil were sitting at the table cutting coupons. Isla came in and set down a bunch of food she had stolen from the delivery guy.

"Don't forget Vin's coupons!" Derek said as Isla left to go deliver the coupons to Vin. Freddie came down the stairs with Lacy and grabbed the mail of the mat. He walked into the kitchen and set Lacy down.

"Any pizza left from last night?" Isla asked as she came in the kitchen.

"No pizza, fruit or juice. And we've got eggs," Freddie replied.

"Pop tarts, frosted flakes, bisquick, Heinz ketchup and oh! Even a couple of two for ones for Tide," Derek listed off the coupons.

"Any coupons for meat?" Isla asked.

"Yeah, they got a special on ground chuck at Costco, and hot pockets," Derek replied.

"That's we'll go tomorrow,"  Freddie said as he kept looking through the mail. He looked up.

"Lil, you seen Franc?" He asked.

"Uh, no," she replied.

"What day is it?" Freddie asked.

"Friday, why?" Lil said. Freddie went up the stairs and started looking for Franc. There was a knock at the door and Isla answered it.

"Morning, campers!" Stella came through the door with coffees and donuts. "I got jelly, plain and glazed," Freddie came down and sighed.

"Great. I'm trying to get them to eat a healthy breakfast," he said.

"I bought all the essential food groups; caffeine, sugar and lard," Stella replied. Freddie leaned in to whisper to her.

"Sorry about last night," he said.

"Never apologise for your parents. Believe me, I don't," Stella replied. Freddie looked over at the,.

"Has anybody seen mom?" He asked. Derek looked up.

"She was asleep behind the arm chair," he said. Freddie sighed and walked into the living room. Everybody got up and followed him. Freddie leant over the arm chair and looked behind it.

"It's a tent," he held up the tent.

"What is a tent doing in the living room?" He asked.

"Drying it out. Got athletics camp next week," Isla replied.

"I thought it was mom. I left her a cup of coffee this morning. I thought I heard her say thanks," Derek picked up the mug and took it into the kitchen. Freddie walked out of the house and over to Kel and Vin's. He came in the back door and walked into the bedroom. He was startled to hear the sound of them having sex.

"Oh shit. Sorry, I came in the back way," he said as he covered his eyes.

"You're not the only one," Kel laughed.

"Kel, was mom at The Alibi last night?" Freddie asked.

"Uh, yeah. She was hammered! I'm talkin' hold-on-to-the-grass-so-you-don't-fall-off-the-earth hammered!" Kel exclaimed.