Fanboys' Guide to the Goddess' Heart

Sasaengs 2.0, Damn!

Suho always thought that running for one's life would add more years to his youthful face. His group EXO was so popular nowadays that he couldn't go out of the bathroom without being mobbed by groups of girls and the occasional boys. One time, he actually had to run with his shirt gone because crazy fans or sasaengs got in their dressing room.

The dressing room was equipped with a fingerprint-scanning device. And the door was voice-activated just in case one of them got their hands full.

The sasaengs, he thought with a shudder, have just evolved into their 2.0 versions.

Have mercy on their souls.

Being a male idol of the trending group of SM Entertainment, he has many fangirls to take into consideration and more than enough sasaengs to drive his normally sane mind insane. Their sunbaes Super Junior, TVXQ, and SHINee also have their fair share of running away from crazy, hormone-fueled, must-be-checked-in-a-rehabilitation-center-for-psychosis sasaengs, but they all mellowed down with age.

EXO's just starting, and their sasaengs started with a bang.

And that's the reason why the poor leader of EXO was running for his life: for the safety of his innocent mind.

They were doing a signing event at one of the malls in Seoul. They were dreading that no one will come because there was another KPop group signing at a different venue. They did not get the chance to ask who that group was because they were too nervous for their signing event.

They did not expect to be mobbed ten minutes away from the mall.

EXO-K and EXO-M members were scrambled together. Kris, who was also the leader, went with Chen, Lay, Xiumin, Luhan, and Baekhyun. He didn't want to be stuck with the panicking maknae line, so he did the noblest thing ever—he ran with the hyung line and went in the first van. So, Suho was left with comforting the nervous Kai and Sehun, distracting the fidgeting Kyungsoo and Chanyeol, and calming the panda known as Tao.

How unfortunate for Suho to experience Tao slipping into a panic mode that is too extreme for the normally calm leader. He was almost done with Tao, making promises that he'll buy whatever he wants to eat for a week and that he'll clean Tao's room. That should've been enough because Suho doesn't clean his members' rooms.

Tao nodded in acquiescence. He was about to thank his hyung when the disaster was unleashed.

Sasaengs.

Tao had the illogical fear of being eaten by zombies alive. Imagine the scene of hundreds of fans piling up the car, almost pushing it upside down, and screaming at their oppas to show their faces.

Suho can't blame his members for flipping off. They were scared, nervous, and frantic enough as it is.

Tao screamed and screamed, making Kai, Sehun, and Kyungsoo to scream as well, gripping the seat in front of them and muttering pleas of salvation under their breaths as the van shook relentlessly. Chanyeol, who doesn't get scared easily, just fidgeted in his seat, kicking the back of Suho's seat repeatedly.

Suho developed wrinkles.

"Tao! Calm down, maknae! They're just fans!"

Tao was inconsolable, almost sobbing and pleading for the shaking to stop. Suho was out of his wits. He begged the driver to go faster but the driver was helpless because he can't just run over the people blocking his way. He told the panicking leader that security is on his way but they're also blocked by the fans surrounding the first van.