Poems of Mine

4 Months

You said you want me to be happy

But apparently with you I can't be 

I care too much 

I love to hard

At the end of the day it falls apart

Everything for nothing 

Nothing for all I did 

Whatever happened to "I like you, kid"?

All the things we went through 

All the shit that was said 

I see what I meant to you 

Forget me, I'm dead

Dead on the inside, smiling out

Don't let him see what he did to you 

Don't cry and don't pout

How the fuck am I supposed to hold my composure

With this sorry ass excuse of closure

You broke my heart I saw it coming

You prepared yourself though, you started numbing.

At my expense, what about me 

What about the man I inspired you to be 

You broke it all down and threw it back in my face

Yet you treat me like shit and "put me in my place"

I let you I can't believe I did 

I tried to fix it and this is the thanks I get?

Fuck you, and fuck me too for falling for it

Falling for you and your laugh and  your smile 

You got the last laugh 

I haven't laughed in a while 

I haven't been happy 

You were too blind to see

Just being selfish

Didn't see what you were doing to me 

You made me happy you made me smile

You made me realize some guys are worth while

Then you spit on that image

Crumbled it to pieces

Took me a minute

How didn't I see it 

Usher said it right, blinded from the start

But I don't want you to be the one to always have my heart

Yeah you were my boo but you won't always be 

I don't need a nigga to be the happiest version of me 

All these love songs bring heartbreak

Making niggas out to be something they ain't

Alicia said it too

I keep fallin in love with you 

But Miss Lauryn Hill said it better 

You let go and I'll let go to

Cause I know it's what we have to do 

I know no one's hurt me more than you 

I disagree with Beyonce, boo hoo

I'm hurt, my tears are here 

I'm crying, I'm punching I'm screaming

But for what, you can't see me 

You don't see what you've done to me 

How you made me feel so empty

So hurt so betrayed 

Might as well have been played

I love you so much it hurts 

That I can't deny

My heart you made it burst 

And kept on walking bye

Forget what I did for you

Forget the poems I wrote

Yes I meant everything I said for you

You can forget but I won't 

I won't forget the I love yous and the I wish you were heres

I won't forget the way you made me face my biggest fear

You made me lose you

You did it, not me

I was trying so hard to be the best I could be

Tried to make us work

Tried to keep us together

Tried to make you see my worth

And keep our forever

Everything's done 

It's all over 

I'm still crying 

And moping, but I'm sober

Still drunk on love, nothing I can do

I can't say I'll regret or ever forget you.