beautifully unfinished » linstead [CURRENTLY EDITING]

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Yelling and screaming roared through Erin and Jay's apartment and it wasn't from their 18 month old daughter. They have been doing this for the past month. Jay was always out and about with the other guys from the 21st while Erin was at home with their daughter, Layla.

Erin had just gotten Layla to bed when her husband entered the messy apartment and made his way toward the bedroom quite loud. Of course he didn't know that their daughter was in there sleeping. Erin had always been very protective over her daughter and was still very hesitant to put her in her nursery that is parallel to their bedroom. Quickly making her way to the bedroom she could tell that Jay had a little bit too much to drink tonight and that was the final straw for her.

"Will you keep it down" she said in a stern voice that was hushed so she wouldn't disturb the sleeping infant. "I just got Layla to bed."

"Sorry?" he responds like he doesn't care and walks back to the living room. erin follows in tow very frustrated at him.

"Where were you?" she said in the calmest voice she could leaving up against the door frame.

"I was with Ruzek and Atwater."

"What were you doing with them because they obviously didn't tell you to stop drinking after two beers." now she was starting to get frustrated with him

"What is your problem? Are you on your period or something?" he retorts. Erin could tell that he was frustrated too but it was only because he wanted to be left alone, not being interrogated.

"That is none of your business!"

"Well I don't get why you are so angry at me then?"

"You are never here Jay! I'm the one that has to take care of Layla. I'm the one who has given up my life to be a mother. And you are just out partying like some college student." she raises her voice but is still not enough to wake anybody up "Not to mention that a few days ago while you were out with the guys again I was here trying to hold myself together because it was the anniversary of our other daughters death." by this time tears were clouding up her vision and she avoided her gaze towards Jay who suddenly remembered that day all over again like it was yesterday. 

Before Erin and Jay were ever engaged they had another daughter who was not more than 3 months before she passed. Little Ella Camille was born pre mature with lots of complications. She was so tiny, Erin stayed with her in the NICU ever since she was born. Jay practically had to drag her out of there to get her to eat or walk around. After she passed Erin was devastated and locked herself up in their bedroom for days. That was the moment when Jay started to drift away. He felt like there was nothing he could do for her. He felt helpless.

(end of flashback, sorry if it was crappy)

"Er, i..." he stuttered

"Don't, you don't get to do that" by this time years were streaming down her cheeks. By this time all Jay wanted to do was wrap his arms around her. You don't get to be all lovely dovey after what you've done this past month. I've been here ever since I got off of work taking care of Layla and where were you? Because it was obviously not here with me. You are never here Jay." Erin sighed and Jay was completely speechless.

"You promised me that you would be here. You promised me that you would take care of us. But after that last day in the hospital with Ella you went distant. And don't you dare act like you don't know what I'm talking about" she said sternly sitting down in the chair diagonal from the couch Jay was sitting

Jay sighed, "Erin i am so sorry, there had just been a lot of stuff going on in my mind. I guess I just blocked it out"

Erin scoffs "How can you just forget the fact that you had another daughter?? Seriously Jay? That's all you can say?"

"I don't know Erin, okay, i don't know" Jay was beginning to get very frustrated.

"Did you even want Layla?"

"How could you say that?" by now Jay was angry

"I'm sorry that I had to say that, but it's bluntly obvious that you didn't want her" Erin's voice starts getting louder. her daughter sleeping in the other room completely left her mind.

It was the longest 10 seconds until he finally responded. "No. No I didn't want you to get pregnant again" he confessed. Erin lightly laughed "I knew it, I knew it all along and I really hoped that you wouldn't confess it." she looked down at her knees not wanting to look at his face. She couldn't bring herself to look him in the eyes after he said that.

"Erin it isn't a big deal." he interrupted. "No Jay, it is a big deal. Did you just expect me not to find out that you didn't want another child!?" Erin was frustrated.

"Hey, I never said that" he was hurt that she had come up with that assumption.

"Then what is it Jay, I need answers."

"I don't know okay, I feel like you weren't in your right mind when you got pregnant again."

"What's that supposed to mean? Are you thinking that i tricked you? That i trapped you because I swear Jay if you really think that...." she looked at him with so much hatred. "What if I said yes..." he looked up at her with eyes she knew very well when he really meant it.    "You have no idea how bad you just screwed up!" erin yelled and pointed her index finger at him and he slowly closed his eyes not wanting to see what else she has in store for him.

No even a second after she finished her sentence cries soon filled the apartment. Jay started to get up but Erin practically sprinted toward the room to console their daughter. Jay slowly got up and headed towards the bedroom once he felt like it was safe. The first sight he sees is Erin pacing around the room with their daughters head resting on her shoulder. Her blue eyes could be seen through the darkness, just the lights from the living room shined through the bedroom.

"Erin I didn't mean what I said" he said quietly hopefully not disturbing her.

"No, Jay you made your statement pretty clear. If you really thought that I cornered you, then maybe I don't know who you really are anymore." she brushes past him and walks towards Layla's room. Setting her down in the crib while she went back to their room to grab a bag. She quickly started putting the necessary items for Layla for at least a week and once she was done she went back to their room and packed stuff for her. It only took her 10 minutes to get both of their belongings in her car before coming back to grab her daughter before she left.

"Where are you going?" Jay looked like a sad puppy.

"I'll probably be at Hank's. All I know is I can't stay here. I'm sorry Jay." she looked at him with sad eyes. "Say goodnight to daddy" she motioned to Layla. Hanging her to him, Jay immediately took ahold of his daughter and gave her a kiss on the head before whispering to her without Erin hearing. once he was done he respectively handed her back to her mother. "Bye Er." he said before she shut the door to now the lonely apartment.
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a/n: in so excited to write this book. i have so many things in mind for this story that you may hate me for now. hope you guys like it 💗.

-anna