heartburn {jemily}

Seven.

My lips still tingle; I can still taste her purity on my lips.

Why did she leave? Did she feel embarrassed? Ashamed? Was it too much for her?

I've been laying in my bed for two hours now, running what happened back and forth through my brain and pondering why she left.

Was it my fault? Hers?

I sigh deeply. I thought that kiss would clear my mind of everything, but in all honestly, it made my mind more of a painful palace of thoughts.

I force myself to get out of bed, moving my aching body down the stairs. Sergio immediately crawls over to me, rubbing his body across my leg.

"Hey, Serge." I lift him into my arms and take him onto the couch with me, letting him sleep in my lap while I turn the TV on.

I try to find a show that will distract me from the current fears and guilt I have been experiencing, but nothing will suffice.

She's married. She has a husband and two kids, why did she kiss me?

I shake the thought away, closing my eyes to detoxify the bad thoughts in me.

Never in a million years would I have expected this. I thought she was happy with her husband. I never thought she would lock her lips with someone else other than Will, especially not with someone like me.

Someone like me? What does that mean?

Is it because I'm a woman, and so is she? Or is it because of something else, a deeper self-hatred that's eating me alive?

I feel like ripping my hair out because of how distracted and frustrated I am. This kiss is just causing more confusion than normal. I need to confront JJ.

I lift Sergio off of me, placing him on the floor so he can wander. I wrap a light sweater around me, heading outside.

The wind is chilly. Ice cold fingers grip my skin, freezing me even more. The only warmth that I have is coming from the warm glow of the illuminated street lights, and that's only temporary.

JJ doesn't live far from me, so I walk to her house. I could find her house in my sleep, so there's no anxiety that comes from this task.

When I reach her house, I peek inside the front window to see what's going on. It's past nine thirty, so her kids are most likely in bed.

I see JJ walk down the stairs, her hair knotty and out of place. I see her lay down on the couch, wrapping a blanket around herself and closing her eyes.

I frown. What is she doing sleeping there?

I tap lightly on the window, causing JJ to jump in shock. She throws the blanket off, eyes widening when she sees me at the window.

She speeds to the door, opening it and ushering me inside.

"What are you doing here?" I can't tell if she's relieved or upset to see me.

"We need to talk, Jayje," I respond, emotionless.

She nods, swallowing hard. She grabs my hand unexpectedly, leading me back outside into the cold.