Never Again

Chapter 46: Disbelief

'Was it really that obvious?' Keira asked tentatively. Why had everybody known before her?

'As obvious as it could be, Keir. Is it only now he has someone else that you realised you like him?' Abby asked carefully.

Now she had to think about what she had seen again and she started to feel nauseous, it hurt so much. 'No, I knew before that, I've known for some time now.'

'Did he tell you or how did you found out?' Abby sounded interested, but she made sure not to make Keira feel any worse.

'I only came back from England today and went shopping for food. On my way back I walked past a restaurant Seb and I have eaten once and when I looked inside I saw him sitting there, with this girl. They looked so happy and they held hands, they even kissed. They funny part is that I know that girl, because she sometimes came into the cafe,' she started crying halfway through and her voice trembled that she found it a miracle that Abby was able to understand her.

'Is she his girlfriend?' Abby asked cautiously.

'I don't know, I didn't even know they knew each other. They never came in together and Seb never mentioned a girlfriend. You think he would have done if he had one, right? Because we've known each other for some time now and he even knows my secrets,' disbelief was audible in Keira's voice and she banged her hand on the small table next to the sofa. Shit, that hurt.

'He knows about David?' Abby sounded surprised.

'Not that it was David, just what happened to me and he was so sweet that night. He is the only one I really felt safe with and thought I could trust. Boy, I was wrong,' she sobbed.

'But what do you mean you can't trust him? I mean, it isn't his fault that he likes someone, right? And if he didn't know you liked him too...,' Abby's voice trailed off, not wanting Keira to think she was overreacting.

'We kissed,' was all Keira could say and she closed her eyes.

'You did what?!' Abby almost yelled.

'At the party last race, so not even that long ago,' Keira sounded dejected and didn't even notice new tears were welling up in her eyes.

'That's fucked up,' Abby sounded stunned. 'I didn't know you guys were there already, fuck that's not good at all.'

'I know and I mean it wasn't just a quick drunk kiss or anything, or I thought it was at least,' Keira sighed and she sucked her lip between her teeth until it started to bleed.

'Oh man, that's even worse,' Abby said. 'How was it though?' she asked curiously after a few seconds of silence.

'I've never been kissed like that before, it made me forget about the world and I didn't want it to end, ever,' Keira sighed. It was hard to have to admit it to herself, but to someone else was even worse.

It stayed silent for a while before Abby answered. 'Keir,' she began. 'I don't want to sound insensitive or anything, but is it possible that you're in love with him?' she asked hesitantly.

Now it was Keira's turn to stay silent. Her heart had jumped and ached at the same time when Abby had said that. 'I think I might be,' she answered after a long moment of silence.

On the other side of the phone Abby groaned. 'That's what I was worried about. I prayed for this to happen since I saw you two together, but now Seb turns out to be an asshole I don't want that anymore. Sadly it's too late now, damn it, why does he have to be so cute?' Abby sounded frustrated and it seemed like she was blaming herself. 'I shouldn't have pushed you together all the time, this is my fault.'

'Of course not, I think I have been in love with him even before that, although I have never wanted to admit that to myself. I think I might have been since the beginning, although because of all that was happening with David I have never realised that,' Keira said and this time she didn't have to cry. She still felt sick, but at least she was honest. Honest with Abby, but also honest with herself. 'I think I have loved him ever since the moment I looked into his eyes for the first time,' she added quietly.

'And you're really sure it was Seb in that restaurant?' Abby tried.

'Sadly, yes,' Keira's voiced trailed off somewhat. 'I would recognise his eyes everywhere and when he smiles my heart melts, so it definitely was him.'

'Damn it,' Abby cursed. 'It's so unfair that this needed to happen to you, you deserve better.'

'Maybe I'm just overreacting. We aren't together or anything, so why shouldn't he kiss all the girls he wants?' Keira asked while she tugged on her hair. She wanted to pull it out in frustration, but decided better of it because being bald wouldn't make anything better.

'Don't you start with that. If he's a decent guy he wouldn't do that and from what I've seen he's given you very clear signals that he liked you,' Abby sounded angry.

'But what's the difference between that and me and Fernando? I went out with him and kissed him, twice,' Keira said trying to get her head around all of it.

'He knew you were going out with Alonso and you kissed him before you kissed Seb, that's very different. You also turned Alonso down when he asked you out again and Seb knew that. Besides, he could have said before or after you two kissed that it didn't mean anything to him and that you could expect him to kiss other girls. You're not a toy Keira,' Abby didn't sound angry anymore, but now sadness was audible in her voice.

'Still, we aren't together or anything. I have to admit that we have been intimate before and that we almost kissed several times. Also the kiss at the party wasn't a spur of the moment, it was bound to happen sometime,' Keira said aggrievedly.

'Then it's even worse. He has led you on and got what he wanted and now clearly has moved on,' Abby almost yelled again. 'You know what, I'm going to book a flight to Switzerland right now. You need a friend there, because it's no good if you're all alone there,' Abby said excitedly.

'But you have work,' Keira said sounding confused.

'Screw work, I'll call in sick tomorrow. I'll only stay one day and then go back, no one will know,' Abby laughed.

Keira also smiled, it was the first smile since she had seen Seb in the restaurant. 'You're crazy,' she replied and shook her head. She loved Abby for this, more than she could tell her.

'That's what friends are for, I know you would have done the same for me,' Abby said softly.

'You're the best friend ever,' Keira smiled again. She was lucky to have such a good friend.