'A' to 'Z' Rarl

I → Impulsive

I don't mean to hit him.

He is angry with me, he is yelling. I hate that, I hate being yelled at. Enid is right there, staring at me with something like pity, and Carl grabs for my arm. I don't know why I do it, it just happens. My knuckles pop against his cheek. It can't have hurt him much at all, he looks more shocked than anything, but he regards me with a new air about him that I instantly dislike more than the yelling.

"Stay away from me!" I shout, "You are a monster! You should have stayed outside those walls, where you BELONG."

I regret the words, because they aren't true, and it's like he snaps back to the Carl he was before the video games, the Carl that screamed bloody murder while being pinned under Aiden.

"Don't-" He begins, but Enid cuts him off.

"Leave it, Carl. He doesn't get what it's like out there-" But a new fire is burning in me also.

"I DON'T GET IT?!" My voice cracks. "I'm sorry, Enid, but I- I seem to recall starving, too! I was out there for over a YEAR! I know what the biters are! I know what they are like! Don't- don't EVER underestimate what I know!"

Her lips pull back into a sneer, and she steps forward, but Carl beats her to it.

"Do you? Do you really know?" His voice is lowered, dangerous. He's in my face, those crystal eyes wide with anger.

"You know what it's like to run and hide all the time?"

"Yeah, I-"

"You know what it's like to raise your baby sister after your mom is dead and your dad fucking loses it?"

I falter.

"You-" He runs his tongue over his lips. "You know what it's like to get dragged over the concrete by the collar, only to have a grown ass man- a sick fucking- stick his hands down your pants and-"

He's spitting and choking words into incomplete sentences and Enid yanks him back, but I've heard enough.

"Leave it," She says again, hands on his shoulders, keeping him off me. "Just leave it."

I feel sick. I'm going to throw up, I feel it on the back of my throat, and I watch Enid tug him away. I should be the one comforting him. It should be me.