Climbing The Steps Of Adulthood

Chapter 11: Adult choices

When you live a life like mine where you get promises a lot and they aren't fulfilled you just stop getting excited about stuff soi don't really out my hopes up any more because the feeling of getting let down, how  do I put it, sxks actually.

When push came to shove I realised that the persons who promised or acted like they were going to help me with me college expenses slowly and subtly backed away.

Who wants that burden right?...

So of course it all came down to my father and well me.

And it wasn't near aiding in my college expenses. So I did the next best thing. I decided to defer and work for a year.

And in an economy such as this one its hard as hell to obtain a job.

If I had decided to go to college I know my dad wouldn't be anywhere near comfortable, and I didn't want to be the cause of that. It would've have been a selfish act of mine knowing that while I'm off to college my family would be in debt. So I  did what any sane individual would do, I put my education on hold and decided to defer so that I could contribute to my college expenses,taking some of the pending stress off my father, but let's just say it hasn't been going to plan.

I know I know, "why don't you just go to college that's close to you? , wouldn't it be more affordable?".

Yeah, yeah it would, but when you come from a small town where that's all you've ever known since birth you feel like you wanna see the world for more than what it is, sure going to college in New York isn't the world but its a start, I mean, it is the big apple.

In college you actually find out the the type of individual you are, who you want to be, grow into the individual you are destined to become,widen your knowledge and the college you attend reflects all of those which is why I want choosing what college I go to be my choice and my choice only because that decision will live with me for the rest of my life.

I don't want to say "if I had gone wherever life would be different ad it's all because of such individual that didn't happen I want if life doesn't play out the way I want to and its because of the college I went to I can say its fully my fault, and my fault alone..

So my uncle was asking me about my scores, test scores used to get into college and o told him them, he was asking what I'd like to do and I told him.

He started asking about college and application deadlines and all that, then he started looking on his phone for schools that offered the degree I want to pursue.

He then began to talk about this uncle whose actually in that field and is a 'big shot'.
I kind zoned put she. He actually called the dude telling him that I was interested in doing the degree in a major he was familiar with.

It was like he was trying to use him as a 'pass' to get me into "said" institution. The Westbourne University.

Of course I wasn't very happy about that. So I told him I actually got accepted to a college with that same major and that I got a scholarship.

He was like but isnt that very expensive though.  Know that shouldn't push it because as I've said before things like that don't normally happen to people like, well me.

I heard him taking about letter and writing a recommendation for me.

I hated that ideas it would seem like he was trying to get me into a college by ugh I cant  thimnk of a word but I wouldn't feel good if I got in knowingly that he had something to do with !y admission I wouldn't feel like I've earned it and I've Been through life and I'm here now and not once have I asked or was given a hand me down you know? And I'd like it to stay that way.

Like I wanna be able to say when I've made it and I will.
I made it all by myself and I worked my ass off to get Here and it was worth it.

You see I kinda have a philosophy or words that I actually go by or have been going by all my life ever since I was a kid.

"Education is the key out of Poverty".

But I  didn't realize they were flaws to it until I actually really understood this aspect of life.

Without a college education, no "links/connections" and still in poverty. Its difficult to come out because we'll your in poverty.

Even though it is partly true, you still need money in order to pursue a college education and without a college education, its difficult to obtain a good paying salary they would help you in the long run to come out of poverty to achieve a good standard of living and quality of life.

Do you guys get my drift?.

But as we as young adults get older especially those who might be in the same situation as I.

I just think that at this stage we should be allowed to make our own choices when it comes to the future we want to live.

Don't get !me wrong they're some things that we need help with but it's like I don't even have a say in my own future and I don't think that's fair at all.

Just know it's not forever, what's a life without obstacles?

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I know I'm talking to my self... Again buttttt amma ask anyway! ^_^

The words I live by need to  be edited.... Any ideas?

No?
No?
Oki