Hunter No More

Chapter Nine

For Sam the darkness of sleep was total, all consuming and terrifying. It was as if she had never escaped the Ochre colony.

-Hello Sam

She recognised at once that it was Alpha, even with her uncle's larynx stripped away it sounded like him. So stark, so unashamedly alien.

How?

-I wanted you to know that your father's ship is minutes away from intercepting the enemy Hunter.

This isn't real, I'm asleep.

-Indeed you are, Samantha, but I'm afraid this is very real. I implanted you with a subcutaneous transponder during your time with us.

What do you want?

-I am curious.

Why?

-Your father has agreed to take my place as the guardian of the Ochre. Even if he succeeds you have probably seen him for the last time. I would like to understand your emotional response.

I don't want him to go.

-But he will go, how will that make you feel?

I don't want him to go.

-Ah, you still have hope that he will return to you?

Go away, Alpha. Isn't it enough that you're taking him from me?

-I simply wish to know what effect his absence will have on you, Samantha. After all, I will be responsible for that effect. I need to understand just how my actions affect the physical world.

Responsible? Do you want me to forgive you?

-Forgive?

That's it isn't it? You're feeling guilty.

-Guilt is a byproduct of responsibility. So yes, I feel guilt. It is inevitable.

And you want me to make you feel better? To let you off?

-I suppose so.

Well I can't do that. I want my Dad to come home. I don't want to lose him.

-But you cannot adequately describe how that loss will affect you?

What?

-If his loss has no consequence to you, then I do not need to feel guilty. I do not need to be forgiven.

It's not a points system.

-All things can be measured, Samantha.

So if I tell you that losing my father costs me fifteen million emotional loss points, what happens? How does that work?

-You are beginning to understand.

No I don't! I don't! And neither do you. That's not what loss is about.

-Think of it as an equation, Samantha Marriot. If your loss is of greater value than the benefit of your father taking my place, then I will not let him take my place.

Of course it is.

-You say that, but you cannot describe it to me. I need to measure the effect, Samantha. You must help me.

I...

Sam sat up, her eyes open and her forehead wet with perspiration. Her mother was standing over her.

"Are you OK?"

Sam wiped her own forehead, amazed at the dampness on her palm.

"Sam?"