lame jokes

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27. liesfaith

Wanna hear two short jokes and a long joke? Joke joke jooooke.

28. caveman_rejoice

Three tomatoes are walking down the street. A papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. The baby tomato starts falling behind so the papa tomato squishes him and says, “Ketchup.”

29. oneyellowwall

What did the buffalo said to his son when he dropped him off at school?
Bi-son.

30. ipoopedonachair

What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!

31. LowercaseMan

Why did Timmy hate eating clocks?
It was really time consuming.

32. twelvedayslate

What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
NACHO CHEESE!

33. pupetman64

So a skeleton walks into a bar, he says to the bartender “Give me a beer and a mop”

34. StickleyMan

A grasshopper works into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey! We have a drink named after you!”. Confused, the grasshopper replies, “You have a drink named Steve?”

35. HughJorgens

A guy sees a three-legged pig at a new friends farm. He asks why the pig has three legs. His friend says “Let me tell you about that pig, he’s a hero. Last year my house caught on fire, and that pig knocked down my door, and dragged my unconscious body outside to safety.” The guy asks “Oh, that’s how he lost the leg, in the fire?” His friend says “Oh, no, when you have a good pig like that, you dont want to eat him all at once.”

36. alanp88

I got an invite to a wedding that said “black tie only”. But when I got there, everyone else was in tuxedos.

37. carlfro

Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks, “Would all of you like a drink?” The first logician replies, “I don’t know.” The second logician replies, “I don’t know.” The last logician replies, “Yes.”

38. skocznymroczny

My dog has no nose.
So how does he smell?
Awful.

39. JohnTheDigger

Why was the ant so confused?
Because all of his Uncles were ants.

40. colwyn69

Every time we cross train tracks, I tell my kids
“hey, a train just went by”
“How do you know daddy?”
“because it’s tracks are still here”

41. Its_Ice_Nine

why did the archaeologist commit suicide?
his career was in ruins

42. StickyBellyFlapCock

Lack of general knowledge is my Achille’s knee.

43. Eviltwinrobot

How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears? A buccaneer!

44. SirDolphin

I invented a time machine next week.

45. cubiekart

what is it called when batman skips out on church? christian bale

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