Everything Hurts

CHAPTER TWO

           Damn it. God, damn it. You idiot; you are a fucking idiot!

You deserve this.

           "Why didn't you tell me about last night," he growled.

           "I-I-" My voice couldn't go any higher than a hoarse whisper. His eyes went black. No. No. No. "Jason," I whimpered out pathetically.

           He then let go of me, pushing everything off the counter. I flinched as he did so, covering my face with my forearms. "STOP FUCKING CRYING! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?" I bit down on my bottom lip, trying to control my crying. "Don't treat me like I'm fucking stupid, you fucking cunt! You think I would forget if you were just sick yesterday!?" I trembled, beginning to hyperventilate. "ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION! DO YOU THINK I AM FUCKING STUPID!?" I shook my head with fervor.

           The back of his hand met my face. I screamed as his flesh came into contact with mine. "SHUT UP!" I fell to the ground as he slapped me again. I cried in pain, curling up into a fetal position.

           Tangled hair covered most of my face as he shook his blurry head in disgust. He leant down, grabbing a fist full of my hair. I screamed as he yanked me up. "Jason, please!"

           "Shut up!" He snapped. I silently cried. He shook his head again, pulling me closer to stare him in the eyes. "You're nothing." His voice came out in a whisper that was louder than anything else he had said that night. He then let go, letting my head hit the wall. I gasped before falling completely to the floor.

He walked away.

           After what seemed like eternity, I forced myself to stand. I wiped my dry tears away with the sleeves of Jason's oversized shirt. His sleeves fell down to my elbows. I gasped at the sight of my arms, littered with purple marks. I lifted the sleeves back to my wrists. I stared at my hair, ripped out in certain areas, blood covering the tears. I shakily lifted an arm, making sure not to let my sleeve fall as I covered one bald spot with other hair.

           I allowed my hand to fall back to my side. I stared at the image before me.

I looked away in disgust.

My eyes landed on my toes.

They curled.

I closed my eyes, unable to stand the sight of any piece of me.

I looked up at the ceiling. "Why do you hate me?" I breathed. "Why?"

I waited for God's reply. When no answer came, I shook my head and closed my eyes again. I took a breath in. "Why do I even try to talk to you anymore? You don't fucking exist."

I began to pick up everything Jason had pushed to the ground from the counter. I sniffled as I set the last item back into place. I grabbed the toothpaste and covered my toothbrush's bristles in total. I then turned the tap before beginning to brush. I mercilessly scraped at my teeth, gums, tongue, and roof of my mouth.

I tried to erase it all.

I couldn't.

           I ran a hand through my hair, the other bald spots coming to sight. I smiled at my reflection.

"I am happy."

***

            The next day I woke up to an empty bed.

I breathed a sigh of relief.

My body ached everywhere. A throbbing sensation spread across the entirety of my back. I scratched my head and flinched at my own hand. I had forgotten.

           Walking over to the closet mirror I saw the bruise that caused my cheek to swell. I licked the inside of my cheek, pushing my tongue against it. The pain heightened.

You're the one that started acting like a smartass when he came home yesterday.

          "You're awake." I gasped at the sound of his voice and slowly turned.

I gave a small smile.

He returned the look.

My heart calmed itself.

Suddenly, his brows furrowed. He was only an inch away from me now. I held my breath. "Baby, wh-what happened to you...?" He whispered. He ran his hand down the swollen part of my face.

"I'm sorry," I choked out. He brought me into a tight embrace. My body ached at the loving gesture.

It hadn't been as bad as I really thought.