Can't Breathe

Why?

She took a deep breath, lungs expanding to accept the cool salty sea air. Stretching her arms towards the sky she waited for the sun to rise; Walking towards the waves, isolated in the darkness of the dawn. His voice came to her as if pulled from her memories, closing her eyes she let the sound wash over her, sinking into the deep abyss that was him.
"Why?"
One word asking a thousand different questions.

Turning from the ocean she saw him, a dream of him, with faded edges, her mind was playing with her heart again. She could see him, sitting in that same old wooden chair by the waves, just as she'd seen him a thousand times before. But that was a lifetime ago. Jeans rolled up to his knees, feet sunk in the sand, appearing to have not a single care in the world while the weight of longing settled upon her shoulders.

"Why?" He comanded.
"Dreams don't ask questions" she whispered into the darkness.
He turned his eyes from the sea to settle on her, glowing golden in the early rays of daylight.
"Why" he repeated.
Tears stung her eyes, this was a dream, a memory, a dream of a memory. This isn't real.
"This isn't real!" She proclaimed "You aren't real!"
"I am real, I am sitting right here and I asked you WHY?"
"Why what?" She comanded, as the tears rolled down her cheeks. Heart pounding a mad rhythm in her chest, drowning out the waves at her back.
"Ghosts do not get to ask questions, leave me in peace!" She screamed at the darkness. Not caring that for all the world to see she was talking to the air.
"Ghosts?" Came his soft warm tenor voice. Even her mind was questioning her sanity.
"Is that what you think I am?"
"There's nothing else you can be," her voice broke as the pain seeped in, "You're gone, you've been gone but you won't leave me." Tears raced down her soft pink cheeks as if each were trying to escape the pain faster than the other. A pain she herself was trapped in, oh how she envied their race to freedom from this agony.

Suddenly he was on his feet, a tall, lurking shadow blocking out the pinks and golds of the sunrise. She stumbled backwards, shocked, memories don't move, they don't change. She was losing her mind, slowly having been driven mad.
"I've gone crazy." She whispered, turning away from his illusion "Oh God" she moaned softly "why can't his memory just leave me alone?" She demanded of the air, challenging it to answer her.
"You haven't lost your mind, I'm right here."
His hand gently caressed the back of her arm, just the way it used to. She closed her eyes, shamlessly allowing herself to feel a touch that wasn't there. His fingertips slid down her arm in a slow, torturous dance until his hand met hers. Fingers intwined seamlessly as if they had been lovingly created to fit together throughout time. The pain was so great she felt she was being crushed under it. Longing to give herself over to the madness, it felt so real this phantom touch, she was lost in a sea of anguish.

Sobs wrecked her body, silently pulling her under the surface of sanity. His voice echoed again;
"Why?"
Pulling her around to face him, with a force that made her eyes go wide, she gasped.
"Why didn't you wait?" He demanded "Why? I won't ask again!" Came his empty threat.
He had been asking why, silently whispering why since the day she had tried to move on.
"I- I had to." Came her broken response, sounding weak even to her own ears.
"How is this happening, how can I feel you? How can you pull at me like this?"
"I'm real damnit" grabbing her other hand in his he placed it over his heart. "Feel that?" He asked.
She looked at her small hand being buried under his large one. He felt so warm, so familiar, so real.

And then she felt it, the rapid tattoo of his heartbeat keeping time with her own. Like a rubber band her mind snapped back, light and sound warped around her as if space were a myth to be disputed. She shook her head to try and clear the cobwebs, looking up she realized he was closer than she had anticipated. Eyes locked, he gazed into her soul as only he had ever been able to.
"You're real" she whispered in awe. The words coming out as a single breath, the last one she could take. Breath bated, she felt his words caress her lips as he whispered "Yes, I'm real"

Then his lips were on hers as fire raced through her veins, her heart accepted what her mind was still fighting to disprove. Passion consumed her, enveloping her from the inside out, her body began to thaw and awaken as it hadn't since the day he had left. Torrid emotion coursed through her as her knees went weak and she swayed into him. His body was hard and unyielding, holding her steadfast forcing her to take his shape just as he always had and like always she molded into him. Two separate beings formed together into one perfect artform. She sighed as her mind went silent, accepting the inevitable madness, his tongue danced with hers, a rhythm that only they knew. With each stroke her soul came back to life. She reveled in the taste that was his alone, one she had craved every day and had never been able to forget. It was the kind of kiss that could only start in a dream, pull you into reality and end in heaven. Or Hell.

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