Mosaic

Harry Styles, Chapter 12

Harry Styles, Chapter 12

     Images of last night played on replay through my mind as I lay in bed beside my beloved, Louis. I lightly moved my fingertips across his hipbones and off to his bum. He wiggled his nose and slightly opened his eyes, "What?" he mumbled. I smiled and made my voice into a half-whisper, "Do you want anything for breakfast, babe?" I saw his eyes open more and he shook his head, I nodded and said, "Okay." He turned over to look at me, he was confused, "You're not going to make me eat?" "Lou, you relapsed last night, I didn't expect you to eat much today, but I do want you to eat something later. Right now all I want to do is cuddle with you." "I love you, Harold." He turned around as I came closer to him and wrapped my arms and legs around him, "I love you too, Lou."

     "Harry...?" Louis says in the midst of silence, "Yeah?" I reply. "What if we never recover? What if we never get better?" I furrowed my eyebrows, "Why are you asking?" "Because you and I don't know if we do get better, I want you to get better; I want us to get better, together." I nod my head, understanding, "Lou, we'll get through this together, I promise." "Pinkie promise?" He asks holding up his hand with his pinkie up, "Pinkie promise." I say intertwining out pinkies together. Lou, I promise this oath will not be broken.

     I was awakened by hacking in the bathroom, I opened my eyes and saw a empty bed. Louis. I jumped out of the bed and ran to the door, "Louis, are you okay?" "Yeah" I heard him croak. "Do you need help?" I asked in a worried tone of voice. "No, I'm fine." I sighed, "Okay." He walked out of the restroom and he looked at me, "I didn't purge, Harry... I swear. I went downstairs to eat some food and I started to feel queasy, I just wanted to make you happy." I wrapped my arms around him, "It's okay, Lou, it's okay." I tried to soothe him by holding him and stroking his air, "It's okay, I believe you." "I just want you to be happy." He whispered into my chest. "I am happy. I'm happy with you." I say. "No, you're not." He proclaimed. "I am." "Then why do you have cuts and scars upon every inch of your body? You did them to yourself, no one else did them. You do them because you're sad." He says with tears in his beautiful eyes, looking up into mine. I didn't know what to say, so I just hugged him.

     I went down to the kitchen and grabbed some waffles from the freezer then stuck them into the toaster. I grabbed a plate, the syrup, and strawberries from the fridge. The waffles popped out and I laid them into the plate. Then I poured the syrup over them, after that, I chopped the strawberries up and put them on top. I grabbed a fork and began to eat my breakfast. I put the ingredients away and left the kitchen.

     Louis was sat on the couch with wet hair and different clothing watching some documentary. "Do you want to go to the skating rink?" He asks. I nodded my head, "Be right back." I walked into our shared room and picked some clothes out. I then style my hair, after that, I then brushed my teeth. Ugly. I ignored the voice and smiled into the mirror.

     "Let's go," I say smiling at him. He nods and we grab our jackets, walk out the door then go to the car. We both get in and Lou starts the car up, "How to Save a Life" by The Fray is playing. "And where did I go wrong? I lost a friend.." I hear Louis join in singing. I honestly thought he had an amazing voice, I stared out the car window leaning against it, looking at the passing people and trees. I think nature is the second most beautiful thing on this Earth, the first? Louis. I don't know what I'd do without him, I love him so much, but he doesn't know it, he doesn't want to believe it. "... drive until you lose the road, or break with the ones you've followed..." His voice is so gorgeous, he hits the notes just right. His voice is feminine, yet manly; his voice, you can hear his accent coming through it. His voice could cure cancer. "... had I known how to save a life.." I couldn't help but to not smile at that time, Lou could very well be a singer, I guess that's when I realized I'm in a relationship with a singer. Louis, you're going to make it in life. Your name will be in shining lights, millions of fans screaming your name every night at concerts; I'm going to be in that crowd, Lou, I'm your biggest fan. "I wouldn't say that Harry," Louis said blushing. I raised my eyebrows, "You nut, you said that out loud." "Oh, did I?" I asked. He laughed, "Thanks for the compliment though, but I don't agree." "I know you don't, but that doesn't mean it's true," I responded. "You are completely mad." I retorted, "And If I am, just call me the Mad Hatter." Louis let out a chuckle, "Then I believe I'm Alice?" "Yes." "May I ask a question then, Mr. Hatter?" I nod, "How about we go to Wonderland, together?" "And where's that?" "I don't know yet to be honest." Louis responds and I didn't know how to answer, all I know is I finally understand why the Cheshire Cat said, "...we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad." and it had nothing to do with falling down the rabbit hole.

     Once we had gotten to the skating rink, we put on our skates and the song "Kiss Me Slowly" by Parachute came on. I stepped off of the carpeted flooring and onto the hardwood floor of the skating rink. Of course, being the clumsy idiot I am, I fall onto my face as Louis flawlessly comes over and helps me up. "Thanks, babe." He smiled. "Let's go dance." He whispers in my ear on his tiptoes in roller skates. How does he do it? As all the other couples went around in circles with each other smiling, Louis and I were locking hands together and it felt as if I was on a cloud with no care in the world. Louis was basically pulling me across the rink because I was too scared to fall, but then I started to panic and I ended up making us both fall on one another. He and I both laughed while we were on the floor, but we couldn't get up because we were laughing so hard. "This is a good position to be in if I do say so myself." he jokes. I rolled my eyes, "You're a doof." He smiles with his teeth showing, "I know, but I'm your doof." I smiled at his adorableness and leaned in for a kiss right when the song ended. "I love you." "I love you too."

     When we got home, I fixed us both a salad with lettuce, cheese, bacon bits, croutons, and for me taco meat while Lou just had lettuce, cheese, croutons, and ranch dressing. Louis ate slow, but he was doing it correctly. I mean he had just purged, I wasn't going to force him to eat a whole entire steak. I know his stomach can't handle heavy food the way others expect people with anorexia to do, the thing they don't understand is that they physically cannot do it. Louis and I may not be the most perfect people, but why be perfect when you can be different right?