The Bad girl goes Good

Chapter 48 - The Aftermath

I need to talk to him, properly. I can sense that Ryan knows I'm keeping so much to myself, and he wants to know but he's wary of me pulling away if he asks. He's holding back and waiting for me to reach out to him.

I can't help but hesitate. He deserves to hear everything I've left unsaid, but there is so much to say and I want to say it right. It's just that whenever I look into his eyes, my mind gets overtaken by my heart and I know I can never get the right words out.

His gaze was still on me, waiting for me to say something as I looked down at the soft cloud of flowers I cradled in my arms.

"I missed hearing your voice." I said quietly.

WOW. A big round of applause for me, I open my mouth to say something intelligent and this is the first thing that comes out!

Well it's a start...

An amused smile lit up his face and the tension in his body language dissipated immediately. I'm glad I could at least make him feel more at ease.

"I don't know, try listening to it all day long, even hearing it in your head when you think. Then you'll realise it's nothing special." He cracked a joke, and succeeded in making me laugh and bringing us back to the easy atmosphere we always used to have during our conversations.

"Ok wise guy, I meant I've missed talking to you." I explained with a shake of my head at his lame come back, carefully setting the bouquet down on the dressing table.

"Me too." He replied earnestly, putting his hands in his pockets bashfully as he closed the door and stepped closer to where I had moved.

He opened his mouth to continue, but hesitated for a moment before looking up to make eye contact.

"I wish you would tell me about all the things that are bothering you." He said to me, trying to lighten the sadness in his tone with a half-smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

I was stunned. But in a good way. A very good way.

I had never known Ryan to speak so directly with ease. I'd only witnessed it when I had pushed him close to the edge. He's changed in that regard, and I feel so proud of him.

"I wouldn't want to bore you, a lot of those things aren't a big deal anyway." I replied nonchalantly with a wave of my hand. I didn't want to make him worry for my sake.

"They must be bothering you enough for you to attack my locker with your forehead." He challenged, giving me a dry look that said he wasn't buying it.

I laughed out loud again; that was so unexpectedly blunt and full of sass coming from him. And I loved it. I could tell it was what he was really thinking, without filtering and re-wording to be polite.

"That was a very hectic day for me ok? I'm not a serial locker assaulter!" I defended myself playfully as I reached out to swat his arm.

He caught my wrist mid-swat and gently pulled me towards him, laughter still dancing in his eyes as he gazed at me.

"I missed that smile." He whispered, and I felt the breath being stolen from my chest, and the blaze of warmth from his words that left a heated trail down my spine. "It's been gone for far too long."

This new frankness of his would be the death of me if he kept saying things like this.

"There's a lot I have to tell you, so much so that I don't know where to start." I confessed, acutely aware of the shivers travelling up my arm as Ryan's hand slipped down into mine and effortlessly laced his fingers through my own.

"Then tell me the first thing you can think of that's bothering you." He replied simply, smiling down at me.

That's the problem though; out of all the things I could possibly be worrying about, the one thing that was repeating over and over in my head was: