6 - Wedding Vows

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Sherlock was forced to watch the only man he'd ever admitted to falling in love with marry another, but there was nothing stopping him for pretending for one moment that perhaps it was him returning the wedding vows.

Warnings: Sad Sherlock, slight mention of suicide but nothing big, good luck my friends

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The room in which John and Mary had decided to get married in was in fact beautiful, Sherlock could admit that. The walls were of the same flowery yellow as the reception hall, the ceiling boasting a crystal chandelier that glittered in the early morning rays. Rows of perfect white seats adorned with lilac bows sat on each side, each holding a name to signify where the guests would be seated. Vases of lilac, white and green flowers stood in each corner of the room and behind where John and Mary would eventually be stood. The very thought made Sherlocks stomach turn uncomfortably. Even though he was tearing himself up and just wanted to escape the bright colours and happy smiles a little part of his brain couldn't help appreciate how perfect this wedding would be. After all, he had practically planned most of it.

He could hear the rumble of peoples voices behind the door, waiting to take their seats either side of the carpeted aisle. It sickened him to think about how happy they all were, how glad they were that John Watson was finally settling down. He had tried countless times to be proud of his friend for finding someone so well suited to his life style, but it didn't matter how many fake smiles he plastered on his face or how many times he teased Mary, he just couldn't do it. He couldn't convince himself he was okay with all of this, because in reality his heart was broken beyond repair.

He knew John would be different when he returned, people change and that was perfectly normal, but he hadn't expected to return to a home he now rented alone and to the man he loved marrying another. Someone that wasn't him. He was angry at John for finding someone he was ready to spend his life with so quickly, as if Sherlock had just never existed. Of course he understood that John hadn't and never will love him, but he'd thought it would have been a while until he'd date again after loosing someone close to him. That's how people normally react, so why had John been any different? Perhaps he had meant less to John than he thought, perhaps he only asked him to be best man because he pitied him. Sherlock knew he was being stupid and that idea alone repulsed him, but he couldn't escape the thoughts that had been littering his mind palace since he returned.

He closes his eyes and massaged his temples, trying desperately to clear his mind of the acidic thoughts. He was here today because John asked him too, he wasn't about to ruin it because he couldn't stop thinking about the man when his wife-to-be was arriving in an hour. How repulsive could he get. Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder and shot his eyes open to see John bloody Watson himself frowning up at him, looking concerned and out of place in the happy atmosphere. Instantly Sherlock steeled his expression, but the look in Johns eyes told him he had already seen.

"You alright?" He asked, removing his hand from Sherlocks shoulder now he'd got his attention. Sherlock tried not to flinch.

"Yes, yes, fine." Sherlock brushed off quickly, forcing his face to smile. John stared at him for a moment but Sherlock refused to let his facade go that easily.

"You sure?" John questioned.

"It's just a headache. I'm fine." Sherlock snapped back, annoyed that John wouldn't just leave him alone so he could pull himself together properly. His concern just made matters worse.

"Okay okay" John replied, raising his eyebrows and his hands slightly with a smile on his lips. Sherlock couldn't quite understand what was so funny but chose to ignore it for his own sake.

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