Relentless

Part I

Levinia couldn't stop a blush at his words, avoiding his eyes and very thankful that the trees blocked the moonlight at the moment.

"Then don't go. If what you said is true and you care about me as much as I do you, then don't leave me."

"You know I have to." James' eyes which had been previously filled of hope, changed ruefully.

"And if you don't come back? what then?" Levinia asked quietly.

James stopped and shook his head. "I have to take that chance. If something happens to them, to anyone, because of me, I could never live with myself." He said softly, swallowing hard. "I can't let anything happen to any of you. Even if- even if I-" his voice caught and he couldn't manage to speak anymore.

Levinia drew in a sharp breath. "Oh James," she immediately pulled himself to her, giving all the comfort she could to him in one hug, with her arms around his waist as she leaned her head against his chest to hear his rampant heartbeat. His arms slowly wrapped around her too, relaxing in her arms as if a ton of weight was being lifted off of him. A hole he didn't know existed, filled up and he wanted to swear to himself that there was nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do to take him away from her. But he couldn't.

"Please don't blame yourself. It's not your fault."

"But it is. I created this-this horrible reality." His thumb grazed her cheek gently, running his fingers down her neck. The touch was soft and full of adoration. It made her close her eyes in contentment as a longing arose within her. 

HIs words took a second to process in her mind with his distracting touch. But once they did she looked up at him with influence. "They made their choice! Can you not carry the weight of the world on your shoulders for two minutes? They deserve their consequences. You had no part in this."

"I can't let them stay in there. They're family."

"They betrayed you." Levinia gaped. "How could you even consider this?"

"Maybe I'm willing to forgive them."

"James, look at me." She pulled away, but kept him at arms length. "You're an amazing man. You love everyone. It's a little crazy actually. It's not a bad thing, but you need to look at things in context. You're brother decided to be influenced by the people around him. You're sister gave in under pressure. They both committed terrible crimes and not to mention they hurt me and you want to walk in there and save them?"

"I love them." He said as if that answered everything. And to him, it did.

"I know you do." She sighed.

"If it were you I would do the same. I wouldn't think twice."

Her heart melted inside. Why was he such a good person? How did he not see the darkness in others?

"I'm not going to be able to change your mind am i?"

"No," he answered. "but thank you for trying." Trying to make the situation better he pulled her close to him in a protective hold and made a promise. "I'll get back to you somehow, love." His voice had gone several octaves lower. She could feel him speaking. His rumbling chest reached every inch of her body. She just wanted to stay here forever in his arms. 

"They're ruthless. You won't make it out alive. Please," she whispered, realizing the inevitable. She slid her hands to his forearms once again, his embrace allowing her to hear his rapid heartbeat this time in syncopation with her own. "I don't want you to-to die. Please."

Her plea nearly sent him over the edge. He held her tighter and clenched his teeth until they ground together painfully, and a single tear ran down his cheek. He took a moment to try and gain control of his voice. "Don't think of it that way. I will try my best to come back, I promise."

"I don't think I can live without you." She swallowed, resisting the urge to cling to him and never let go. James smiled sadly.

"You must. You have people that care for you as much as I do. Like Jazmin, what is she going to say when she finds out you left her all by herself?" he teased. Levinia laughed breathlessly. He always knew how to brighten the mood, but reality sunk back on her again like a shot to the heart.

"It won't be the same." She paused. Not even close. " You aren't them." 

"I know, but you're going to have to let me go."

For a minute, Levinia savored just being in his arms. She debated in her mind on whether to say the next three words playing over in her head. Eventually she said it impulsively. "I-I love you." She told him, hesitantly. She immediately regretted it. She couldn't get attached. She had to be strong and not feel.

Feelings caused heartbreak.

James didn't look surprised, as if he knew all along. He brought her close and pressed a protective kiss to her forehead.

"I love you so much, Levinia." He told her painfully honest and hating himself for having to pull away.

The words healed and yet broke her.

But that wasn't enough for her. As he started to detach himself she grabbed his arm with surprising force reaching up and pressing her lips to his. He melted easily into the kiss and she felt more tension leave his body. It was the kind of kiss that made you weak in the knees from the fleeting passion. James had to keep her upright with his arms wrapped around her, letting out a low noise from the back of his throat when she took his bottom lip in between her teeth. The desperation and urgency amidst them growing, the knowledge that this moment may be there last. This time he really did have to pull away and heard her sniffle as he did so, his hands leaving her arms, no longer providing her with much needed support. She sunk to the ground, her back resting against a tree.

"Okay... I'm okay." she inhaled sharply, trying to tilt her face away from him to hide her tears but failing. "I'm not crying."

"Liv..." he called, looking down on her in concern.

"I'm fine. Just-just go."

"Will you be alright?" he asked, but he already knew the answer.

"yea."

"Is that a lie?"

"Yea."

James felt an almost gravitational pull that inclined him to kneel beside her and brush the tears away. That same usual look of love and adoration on his face but this time tinged with pain and sadness. It was becoming harder with each second to leave.

"I wish I had another hour to spend with you... Please don't be sad." he moved a strand of hair away from her face.

"Well this isn't exactly the time to be happy..." Levinia let out a wet laugh from her sobs. "I'm guessing you want your jacket back." She shifted to take it off but he stopped her with a hand on her shoulder. The touch scorched her.

"Keep it. I'll get it when I return."

"I'll be waiting." She forced a smile.

With great difficulty and reluctance, James stood, trying to memorize each one of her features and bury it deep in his mind where it couldn't be taken away.

"don't wait too long." he warned her. She deserved to live her own life. To find love.

"I'll be waiting no matter how long it takes." she promised.

James knew he shouldn't ask, but he had to know. "Even if its forever?"

Levinia smiled. "yeah, even if it's forever."

Then he turned his back and walked away.

In the dark.

Alone.