Believe In Me

Chapter 2

     When I awoke, everything was peaceful around me.

     I imagine I'm back at home in my own bed, the bright light on the other side of my closed eyelids, simply the sun pouring through my bay windows. But the odd smell of saline and medicine on the pillowcase under my head is enough to bring me to consciousness, and reality.

     Seven months to live.

     It's the first thing on my mind when I realize my surroundings.

     There are so many things I still want to do. I want to travel to Paris and see the Eiffel Tower, I want to go to college and graduate and experience the world!

     I want to fall in love.

     But none of that would ever happen, especially if I never got out of this stupid hospital which only smells of disease and medicine. The odd combination could drive a sane man from the stench alone.

     "Good news." The doctor says as he comes in the door.

     "I can go home?" I ask, a bit hopeful.

     "Not today, but most likely you'll be able to leave tomorrow." He smiles, double checking his clipboard before adding, "You've been doing well... or well considering your condition, and we see that you would probably be more comfortable in your own home."

     "Will I be able to go riding?" I ask, pushing my luck.

     "With your condition, you won't feel up to doing much at all, but if you think you can handle it then yes, but don't push yourself." He warns.

     I nod, "I won't."

     I get to go home.

     Although it hadn't been that long, I was already tired of these bland white walls, and I was missing Nick like crazy.

     I closed my eyes and let the happiness flow through me entirely.

     I get to go home.

     The words repeated in my mind over and over and over again.

 ~~~~~~~~~

     I thought things could be somewhat normal, at least for a few months, but when I got home I quickly realized how exhausted I was, and I knew it wasn't from lack of sleep.

     My body was weak, but I refused to do anything before going to the barn. Seeing Nick was my top priority.

     I immediately stomped through the thick snow toward the barn just to see my love.

     "Hey, boy." I whisper, my voice quieter and scratchier than intended, "miss me?"

     Nick took a step closer and nudged my side with his nose, I take that as a yes and giggled.

     "I missed you too." I ran my hand along his neck, the motion seems to sooth him as much as it did me. My eyes flutter closed immediately and I rest my forehead between his eyes. What felt like minutes turned into hours before I actually realized it was dark, the grooms began to feed all the horses.

     My stomach growled and I knew I had to go eat, or I would pass out. I had no clue that this would take so much energy from me.

     Before I even take two steps, the world begins to spin and my vision starts to turn black. My hand moves up to push my bangs out of my face, but my legs wobble and I crash to the ground.

~~~~~~~~~

     "Well, you're finally awake!" My sister laughs like its a joke. I have a severe headache and I feel weak and clammy.

     I groan, "Kat, don't talk so loud." I croak, pushing my palm onto my head as if it would push away the pain.

      "Are you okay?" She asks.

      "I'm fine, just a headache." I tell her, "How long have I been out?"

      "All night and most of today, mom called the doctor and he said rest will help, and to make sure you eat right." She explains before setting a tray on my lap, "So eat up."

      "Thanks, sis." I smile at her before digging into the food. I'm starving.

     I don't even pay much attention to what I'm eating, simply chew it enough to swallow without choking. I'd definitely need to close monitor my eating schedule. Maybe this would be a one time thing, it wouldn't happen again, I'd make sure of it.

     "Don't choke." My mother says as she walks into the room, something clutched in her hand.

     I swallow my mouthful that I finally realized was Macaroni and Cheese before asking, "What's that?"

    "The doctor said these will help you feel a bit better." She replies, opening her hand to show me two small, white pills.

     "Oh, ok."

     "He said they might upset your stomach, so always take them with food." My mother says in her nurturing tone.

     I nod before holding out my hand as she drops the little pills into my palm and I quickly swallow them with a gulp of ice cold water.

     As I lay back and watch Degrassi after finishing my meal, I see my mother come in with the mail.

     "Anything for me?" I rhetorically ask, knowing I never get mail.

     "Actually, yes! There Is a lot of get well cards here." I jolt my head up, surprised. She continues to flip through all the letters and flops them next to me on the couch. I can't believe it how much people actually care. Then I saw it, from my Grandma Rue, who passed away 6 years ago, it read:

     When she gets sick.

     My dear Lizzy, your old Grandma would be so proud of you. I hope you are getting better and fighting whatever sickness this may be. I know you have a smile on your face because you are strong. You were such an optimist as a child and I know you are now too. You were only 10 when I passed away but you understood so much. You kept my spirits high and I hope you are doing the same for yourself.

     I suddenly feel the warm tears running down my face, but I kept reading.

     I shall go now, but don't you worry. You will be getting more from me. I'm sure this isn't the first either.

     It wasn't, she occasionally sends me little letters that she wrote from when she was in the hospital.

     Remember to stay positive! I will be here with you, even if you cannot see me, I'm here.

     With a whole ton of love,

          Your Grandma Rue.

     It always made me smile when I got a letter from her. It helped me to know that she thought about me when she was in the hospital fighting leukemia.

     I continued to shift through all the kind letters all my friends and family had sent me, it warmed my heart. As I was finishing off the last of the letters, I saw a flier for a rodeo.

~~~~~~~~~

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