More Than Words(Maxian)

Part 4

"Vapour Trail" by Ride

First you look so strong then you fade away

The sun will blind my eyes, I love you anyway

Thirsty for your smile, I watch you for a while

You are a vapour trail in a deep blue sky

Tremble with a sigh, glitter in your eye

You seem to come and go, I never seem to know

And all my time is yours as much as mine

We never have enough time to show our love

Max spotted Ian sitting on a bench at the park they agreed to meet up at. It was a pretty empty place in general, and the only people that really hung out there were old people feeding birds and business folk walking the trails on their lunch break. Had they been there ten or fifteen years ago, the place would've been crowded with newlyweds and loud, screeching toddlers.

"I thought you didn't live far from here. Get lost on the way?" Ian inquired, the smile knew so well just almost there as his comedic personality shined through. Max knew he couldn't give into it, though, and answered Ian's question without the flirtatious overtone he was accustomed to using when he talked to him.

"I had some shit to sort out before I came," he replied. There was truth to the statement, and as Ian wondered what Max could have been doing, he took in the stern expression he was wearing. Max was a generally happy person, and when he wasn't smiling, Ian knew he was either tired or there was something wrong.

"Well, come on and sit down," Ian beseeched, to which Max complied, sitting a distance from his friend that seemed questionable when their close relationship and clingy tendencies were taken into consideration.

"So?" Max started.

"Uh...I don't know. What did you want to say that had to be said in person?" Ian asked, the hint of a smile growing.

"Well, Ian...I...I don't want you to keep feeling guilty about us. I know you love Jordan, and it really seems like he loves you too, even if he has some issues of his own to sort out."

Ian was frowning. He could sense where the conversation was going, but he remained silent and waited for Max to finish.

"I think you guys deserve an untainted chance, and maybe your relationship would be better if there was more trust and less suspicion."

"But...but, Max, I love you too, wh..." Ian looked confused.

Max swallowed. "I guess it was good while it lasted. So was our friendship before this fucking thing." He paused. "I can't talk to my parents without them asking if I've got a girlfriend. Every time, I have to come up with a new way to feed them an old excuse, and I'm tired of it."

"You haven't come out to your parents?"

"Ian, I haven't come out to myself. I have no idea what the hell I am. You're the only guy I've ever been with."

"So you're what, bi?"

"Didn't I just tell you I don't know? God, it's always yes or no with you; black and white...fucking left or right," Max went on, his frustration growing by the second. He was trying not to shout at Ian. He'd rather have a civil conversation, and (in the past) every time he felt himself getting a bit irritated with Ian, he reminded himself of the time Ian told him he loved that he didn't shout and berate him like Jordan did; that he was such a breath of fresh air. But it was different now: friends got into arguments, and if Max was breaking up with Ian, he didn't have to worry about being better than Jordan anymore.

"What did I do?" Ian asked after a moment of silence between the two. Max was staring off at the field around them.

"You made me realize what's best."

"Max-y, I...I don't understand." It took a lot for Max to ignore the nickname, and he knew that in order to get Ian to back off, he'd have to be a bit more harsh.

"You don't understand that you can't just sleep around and expect everything to go smoothly forever? You don't understand that it hurts to hear you babble on about how he's real? I told you we were real...but I guess you forgot about that, huh? You're all I ever think about, you idiot! Go on back and let 'em reel you in like a fish, but I won't be around the next time he makes you think twice about who really values you."

Ian couldn't figure out what to say as he watched Max walk off. He wanted to yell for the brunette to come back, but he was too shell-shocked from his bold, unexpected words, and he had a sinking feeling Max wasn't coming back. He ended up sitting there by himself for around a half hour just listening to the birds chirping as he went over everything.

Eventually, he slowly made his way back to the dirt-and-gravel parking lot. He knew Jordan was home, and since he didn't tell him he was going anywhere, Ian decided to go to the store so he'd have an alibi.

When he got back, he set the groceries on the table and got a glass of water. He took a deep breath as he heard Jordan coming downstairs. He set the water down when Jordan came into view and forced a smile.

"Where have you been?" Jordan asked, squinting as he drew closer.

Even though he had his answer planned out, Ian still stuttered. He didn't like the look Jordan was giving him, and he felt his heartbeat quicken as he struggled to speak.

"W-well, I thought I'd get some stuff from the store. I-I could make you something nice tonight since I'm back from Australia. Bet you've been eating tv dinners the whole time, huh?" he asked nervously.

"What took you so long?"

"I thought I'd be back sooner, b-but there was a lot of people there and-and traffic was bad."

"Liar," Jordan accused, grabbing a fistful of Ian's hair.

"I'm-I'm not lying! Jordan!" he squeaked, his voice taking on a higher pitch as his boyfriend's hateful and intimidating stare bore into him.

"That'd be the last fucking time you lie through your teeth to me, slut. I tried to give you hints to break that shit off a long fucking time ago. I gave you plenty of chances. I even tried guilting you into last night, but you're a fucking dumbass-" he punctuated the word by slapping Ian harshly- "and you just couldn't give it up."

Ian was shaking harder than he ever had as he stared at the counter, not daring to look at Jordan after he did that. His glasses were already slipping down his nose, but they fell off and hit the tiles when Jordan socked him in the face and shoved him against the counter. He didn't make a sound as he tasted the blood in his mouth or felt the way the edge of the counter dug into his hip on impact. He just stood there and waited for Jordan to leave.

"Go. And don't come back, baby, unless you're ready to be with me and only me...alright?" he whispered against Ian's neck. Although he knew he'd receive no response from Ian, he kissed him before going back upstairs.