the bad boy lives next door

21. i can't do this

This chapter is dedicated to jadawalls14 for the lovely message i received thank you !

( recap )

I walk back to my room and placed my tea on a little table next to my bay window I walked over to my bookshelf and grabbed one of my books and turned my light on and sat down starting to read trying to forget everything that has happened .

( skylar's P.O.V )

For once in my life reading wasn't helping me forget about reality , as i keep trying to read and live vicariously though a story better then mine but it was useless sighing i rest my head against the window and notice the sun was starting to rise , shinning though the trees and slowly making its way up to my window .

I was sitting watching the sun rise feeling it slowly warm up my cold skin even though my skin is warm i feel cold and dead inside , i feel numb just staring out my window into nothing .

I look up at the clock and see that i should be getting ready for school by now . i reluctantly get up and walk to my draws grabbing a pair of black leggings and a overly long and baggy grey hoodie. i quickly put my hair up in a ponytail and washing my face with water trying to not look like i cried all night even if i have been crying all night .

Looking in the mirror i decided i didn't care how i looked so i get grabbed my bag and walked down stairs only to see nick dressed in a green t-shirt and black jeans . nick smiled at me and i tried believe me i tried but i just couldn't force one .

" Morning sky " nick said as he hugged me " morning " i whispered in his ear before he let me go " there is a package on the kitchen bench for you okay bye " nick said as he was walking out the door , i quickly said goodbye back before walking into the kitchen to see what is in the package .

Looking at the box i realize that it is from dad and that its most likely my new phone i do not understand how he can get it to me so quickly not that i'm complaining . that phone is the same as my old one and already has all my info and apps load in to it and thank god i didn't want to have to do that .

I dialed dads number and he answered on the third ring " hi sweetie so i'm guessing you revived your new phone " dad said " yes i did and thank you but how did you get it here so fast " dad chuckled " i have my ways sweetie now you should be on your way to school or your going to be late " . " bye dad i love you " " bye sweetie i love you too " .

Hanging up i wake outside and to my car getting in and driving the short ride to school which i'm dreading . once i was at school i parked and just sat there for a minute hoping that yesterday was just a dream and that is didn't have to be so hard but sadly it's not a dream ,getting out of my car walking towards the double doors with my head down trying to ignore the word around.

Once i'm at my locker i open it grabbing out the books i need for the first two classes i close my locker and instantly jump when i see chase leaning against the lockers next to mine . i hold back a new wave of tears not wanting to cry in front of chase .

" Can we talk " chase asked i shook my head and tried to walk past him but he grabbed my arm before i got to far away " please i need to know what happened " " i can't do this '' i whispered as my tears started to fall once again . chase's grip loosened a little and i quickly run away toward the direction i had just came from .

I was just about to get into my car when i felt to big hands on my shoulders turning me around to face them once i see chase i sigh cant he just leave me alone why does he keep coming back"please tell me what is wrong " i shook my head " why don't you ask you Luke and Brad " i said chases face instantly paled after hearing what i had said which is exactly what i was afraid of .

" So it's true " i whispered the silence was the only answer i needed chase's grip started to tighten on my shoulders and it was starting to hurt " let go " chase didn't listen and just tightened his grip " ow chase let go " . Chase snapped out of his daze and finally let me go and taking a step away from me .

Chase suddenly had a murderous look on his face at first i thought it was aimed towards me but when he suddenly turned around and started running towards the football filed it finally clicked he after Luke and brad shit i run after chase not wanting him to murder someone .

Once luke and brad where in sight all hell broke lose chase was throwing a punch at Luke's jaw before he even had a chance to react brad stepped in trying to land a hit on chase but that didn't work . chase started to repeatedly hit brad in the face until he was unconscious before moving on to luke .

I didn't want to watch this any more so i screamed " CHASE STOP " chase's fit stopped as soon as i screamed and he turned to look at me and i could see the regret in his eyes once he seen the horror on my face .

He got up and started walking to towards me i could see his knuckles where split and blood was dripping from them only i wasn't sure if the blood i was seeing was his or Luke's or brad's and there is no way to tell and as much as i kinda hate this guy right now i still love him and i don't like to see him hurt so i wait until he is standing right in front of me with his head bowed with shame .

" Come " i said as i grabbed his wrist walking into school and strait to the nurses office , once inside i told chase to sit on the bed while i grabbed all the things to clean up his hands . placing the peroxide and cotton buds next to chase i start to clean his wounds and wrap them the best i can but its not the easiest place to bandage .

" Done " i whispered still not looking at him just staring at his hands " it started with a bet but -"

" Then i got to know you right " chase nodded once i finished his sentence " that is so cliche " i said chase chuckled lightly trying to lighten the mood " i know how it sounds but it's true , i never took the money " " how do i know you not lying to me " .

" I'm not please i love you please just trust me " '' how can i trust you right now " " please ill do anything to prove to you that you can trust me ""how '' " i don't know , i don't know but i will find away i don't want to lose you " " i think you already have " i said as i got up and walked out of the room and back to my car i could her the sirens coming from the football field and i hope their not to hurt i should have stopped chase sooner .

Driving back home i knew dad would be mad but i have been though enough for on day and i can't deal with it right now . once i got how i was sitting on my bay window thinking about what chase will do to make me trust him again and i don't know if i can or even if i should .

I walk into my bathroom and grab my razor and sit down on the floor pulling off my hoodie and throwing it away so it doesn't get blood on it , i start to cut my other arm getting a little bit deeper every cut the higher i go the deeper it get .

I know i will regret do this to my self weather it be tomorrow or in a month or a year one day in the future i will regret ever doing this in the first place but for right now in this moment it brings me peace , control , relief , in this moment i know that i'm still here and that i'm alive and that i still can feel something even though the rest of me is numb .

I finish up and then clean myself and the floor up before nick see's it and i put on an old jumper before curling up in my bed with tears streaming down my face , ready for another sleepless night .

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